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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28543101">Playlist for Your Heart (Lyrics to Your Soul)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsmval/pseuds/itsmval'>itsmval</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Bokuto Is So Pure, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Happy Ending, M/M, Physical Abuse, love after heartbreak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:06:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>21,695</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28543101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsmval/pseuds/itsmval</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto had no intention of moving out of his sister's home but after exiting the train one night he sees a flier that changes his life.</p><p>Akaashi is charismatic, alluring and private, but the music he plays is a little more than just a tune. </p><p>When he and Bokuto begin living together will Bokuto be able to save him from the darkness he hides in his daily life by simply listening to the melodies?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! </p><p>This bokuaka fic has been stuck in my head for ages and I decided it's finally time to get it out. There will be lots of angst, lots of hurt but even more love. I'm not sure if there will be smut, I kind of want to focus on the love I know Bokuto and Akaashi share, but you never know. Things may change!</p><p>I will be updating chapters every Sunday unless stated otherwise ( I want to aim for posting twice a week eventually :3 ) !</p><p>I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it! Kudos, comments and shares are welcome and appreciated! (:</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bokuto Koutarou wasn’t the biggest fan of cold, winter nights.</p><p>He was a big man, towering over every person he interacted with and nearly double their size. But these damned winter nights made him feel thrice as small. His muscles ached, making it feel nearly impossible to take step after step. Pushing through the muscle pain coursing his entire body he hunched his shoulders, dropped his head and marched forward. </p><p>Bokuto wasn’t sure what made him look up. Wasn’t sure why this caught his attention in the first place. </p><p>ROOMATE </p><p>The only word that he could make out on the flier poorly taped to the light pole.</p><p>Bokuto moved towards the flier, blowing on his hands to combat the numbness. </p><p>“ROOMMATE needed” was all it said. On the bottom end of the paper, there were separated tabs that someone could rip off containing all the contact information. </p><p>Bokuto didn’t need it. Even though living with his sisters was stressful, and most times he just wanted to be alone to fight through the aching of his joints in peace, he didn’t want to move out right? He didn’t want to live with a complete stranger. </p><p>He was prepared to let the small piece of paper fly from between his almost purple finger tips, to let it be a forgotten slip that never made a significant impact in his life. But the thought of being alone, longingly tonight, when he ached more than usual and didn’t feel like having to cook or clean or having the yelling match with his sister that he could never resist, he felt like having a roommate wouldn’t be so bad. With that single thought, he shoved the tiny slip into his pocket. </p><p>Once in the safety of his own room, after having cooked for the entire household, cleaned the kitchen, yelled with his sister about things he couldn’t remember over his aching muscles, and took the hottest shower his skin could tolerate, he sank into his bed. The groan that left his mouth wasn’t loud enough to truly reflect the pain his body felt. All of his joints felt like they were going to snap the next time any amount of pressure was placed onto them. The muscles in his thighs, his legs, calves, back, neck, all felt like they were going to rip in half if he even breathed too hard.</p><p>With the slightest movement, careful not to disrupt any resting muscle, he reached into his bedside table drawer and pulled out the muscle rub. He sat against his headboard, sighing softly as he pushed himself up. Every night he would rub every aching muscle, every pain filled joint, until he could breathe normally. </p><p>It didn’t help that he was a big man, almost 200 pounds of muscle. That already put his body under an unbearable amount of stress. Add in the obligations of being his volleyball teams Ace and his body was completely done for. The jumping, running, hard stops and quick redirections secretly tormented his body throughout the years. He never let his teammates know how much pain he was in, never told the trainers about anything more than a bruise on his hand or an ankle tweak if he landed a little too unbalanced.  </p><p>Once he rubbed enough to allow himself to get comfortable in bed he tucked his body away under his comforter, shielding as much of it as he could from any threatening cold air. He reached on his bedside table and grabbed the little sheet of paper. </p><p>Akaashi Keiji. </p><p>The name was nice, nothing seemed threatening about it. Did he really want to move out? Would his family be okay without him? When was the last time they even cooked for themselves? Bokuto knew he couldn’t stay here forever. Volleyball was his future and he needed to find himself in a space where he could solely focus on moving up and forward. </p><p>With a sigh he placed the paper back on the nightstand and drifted into a light slumber. </p><p>_______</p><p>“I don’t understand why you don’t just move in with me.” Kuroo rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, slightly shifting in the train seat so his back was facing Bokuto.</p><p>“I know you would love to wake up to me every morning Kuroo, but I need a space of my own.” He nudged Kuroo in his rib, earning a nudge back in return.</p><p>Kuroo straightened in his seat.</p><p>“Yeah but you’d have a whole other person in your house Bo. That’s not necessarily having your own space.” Kuroo tilted his head.</p><p>“Yeah, I know it’s not technically having my own space, but it’s someone who I have no obligation to, no offense.” </p><p>“None taken. You’d be making me dinner if we lived together so I guess it’s for the best.” Kuroo shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips.</p><p>“Figured.” Bokuto rolled his eyes, “I’ll call after practice.” </p><p>_______</p><p>Bokuto knew there was no reason to be nervous, but as the phone rang he couldn’t help the shiver that ran up his spine. Was he really calling a stranger to ask to move in with him? Did he even want to —</p><p>“Hello?” A silky voice cut Bokuto’s endless internal banter short. </p><p>“Hi!” He said a little too loudly. Bokuto cleared his throat. “Hi, my name is Bokuto Koutarou. I was calling to inquire about your ‘roommate needed’ flier. I was hoping I could get more information about it.”</p><p>“Yes, thank you for calling Bokuto-san. Luckily, the room is still available. If you would like, you can come and take a look around. I can give you all the information you need then.” The man on the other end of the call was so calm, his voice flowed like water, as if he had practiced the call many times before. </p><p>“Um, yeah sure, that would be great!” Bokuto found himself lighting up, speaking louder with his excitement. “When is a good time to come look?” </p><p>“I can give you the address and if you’re in the area, you can come right now since it’s not too late. Unfortunately, I can not stay on the phone long at the moment but is this a phone you can receive text messages on? I can send it immediately.” He was so proper. </p><p>“Uh yeah, you can text the address here and I’ll let you know if I can come right over.” </p><p>“Perfect.” The voice said simply. </p><p>“Cool, see you soon Akaashi!” He was too loud again. </p><p>There was a pause on the phone. </p><p>“See you soon Bokuto-san.” And with that, the call ended. </p><p>Bokuto released the breath he didn’t even know he had been holding in. Before he could lower the phone from his ear it vibrated against his cheek. Akaashi had sent the address and without even looking it up Bokuto knew he was only one stop away if he hopped on the next train. </p><p>He typed out a quick message, letting Akaashi know he would be there in fifteen minutes. A simple “okay” was Akaashi’s only message in return. </p><p>Bokuto couldn’t help the shake to his leg, the clenching and unclenching of his throbbing hands. He had no problem meeting new people, in fact he loved it. However, with Akaashi things felt differently inside him. Akaashi was the catalyst to his hopeful life change. Bokuto wasn’t sure how many people he was competing with for this room and he certainly wasn’t sure why he was even inquiring about it. </p><p>“What am I doing?” he groaned under his breath. </p><p>The train slowed to a halt. This was the stop, all he had to do was move. Walk out the door, down the street and hopefully to his new home. So why did each step feel like a betrayal. Would his family really be okay without him?</p><p>He released yet another breath he had been holding in and walked out the train door.</p><p>The walk was short. With his hands shoved in his pockets, moving them every second or so to keep the numbness from settling, he trudged forward through the cold. God, how his muscles ached. </p><p>Ten minutes past and he was there, standing at the front door. He reached his hand up to knock and kept it there for what felt like a century until he found the courage to connect knuckle to wood. </p><p>It seemed like another century before the door was gracefully swung open.</p><p>Bokuto opened his mouth to speak but was left without words. The first thing he noticed were eyes so blue they bordered gray, specs of green dancing in the depths, staring at him. Black silken eyelashes protected the pools and Bokuto found himself wanting to dive in. </p><p>“You must be Bokuto-san.” </p><p>Bokuto’s eyes moved down to the mouth that spoke his name. Soft and supple, the slightest hue of pink resting upon porcelain. There was no emotion to the voice, indifference was the closest word Bokuto’s brain could use to describe the tone and yet, he wanted to hear it again.</p><p>“Bokuto-san?” Akaashi heard his thoughts. </p><p>He was staring and the atmosphere was quickly growing awkward.</p><p>“Sorry!” A little too loud again. “Yes, hi I’m Bokuto but you knew that.” He laughed a booming laugh and Akaashi simply stared at him with those beautiful pools reflecting Bokuto’s smile. </p><p>“Please, come in.” Akaashi turned and walked into the apartment. </p><p>Bokuto quickly followed, kicking his shoes off. Bokuto could hear music playing softly through the house and it made his muscles relax. He wasn’t much of a music listener unless it was playing in a department store or in a movie. He opened his mouth to ask Akaashi what song was playing when he was once again stopped in his tracks. </p><p>In the living room, on the couch, were six pairs of eyes looking up at him. It wasn’t the fact that the eyes were boring into his soul but the pair of unbothered chartreuse eyes blinking at him that shocked him. </p><p>“.. Suna?” Bokuto breathed out. </p><p>Sitting on the couch with the other two pairs of eyes was his teammate, Rintaro Suna.</p><p>“Bokuto.” Suna nodded his way.</p><p>“How do you- What are you-?” Bokuto knew the world was small and Japan was even smaller but he never would have thought in a million years that his teammate would be sitting in the living room of hopefully his new roommate. </p><p>“I see you two know each other.” Akaashi raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at his lips. </p><p>“We play volleyball on the same team.” Suna shrugged. </p><p>Bokuto was still very confused. He never really talked to Suna, realizing very early on after he joined the team that Suna preferred to be left alone most of the time. He didn’t even think Suna had a friend, let alone three. </p><p>He let his gaze slide across the couch to the other two bodies that occupied it. </p><p>There was a boy whose attention was no longer on him but on the gaming console in his hands. His long blonde tipped hair was tied in a messy low bun at the nape of his neck. His skin matched the porcelain that was Akaashi and Bokuto wondered if either boy had ever been outside. </p><p>The last pair of eyes that had seen his soul but were now more uninterested than the last belonged to a girl. The first thing he noticed was her sharp jawline, almost as though she had worked it out her whole life. It quickly dawned on him that her jaw was the center of attention because her hair was cropped short, curls threatening to spring up but instead slicked down to her scalp. </p><p>Brown eyes snapped up to meet his golden ones. She raised an eyebrow. That’s when it dawned on Bokuto. They were all beautiful, exquisite in their own ways. </p><p>Suna, nonchalant and intense, was composed of striking features and a gaze that made it impossible to look away from him. </p><p>The gamer boy was soft, with a feminine aspect that wrapped around him and grabbed you by the throat. Every movement he made was so smooth, it reminded Bokuto of the ocean — calm, smooth, deep and more than anything, astonishing. </p><p>The owner of the deep, dark chocolate eyes with black flecks was otherworldly. Her features were strong, and her face was serious as it still stared up at him. She was foreign, that much was obvious, but god was she ethereal too. Her skin was warm like honey, the brown of her skin seemed to glow and Bokuto wanted to orbit her light.</p><p>His internal monologue paused when he thought of Akaashi. Curls so dark they rivaled midnight, so silky looking Bokuto wanted to run his fingers through them. He was almost sure this apartment belonged to Adonis, who had fallen from Olympus and started life in Japan. </p><p>They were all simply… angelic. </p><p>“You alright there?” A warm voice, slightly shadowed with concern, called out to him. </p><p>Bokuto snapped back into reality after realizing he had been staring far longer than was acceptable. </p><p>“Yes, yes, I’m sorry!” He spoke quickly and bowed a little too deeply. </p><p>A low, melodic chuckle caught his attention and he turned to see Akaashi with a slight smile looking at him. </p><p>“Don’t worry about it. Believe me, we’re looking at you the same way.” Akaashi shrugged, seemingly knowing what Bokuto was thinking and … complimenting him in return?</p><p>“Come on, I’ll show you around. Let’s start with the living room and the three elephants in the room. You already know Suna, as we just learned. The bun head is Kenma.” </p><p>Kenma flipped Akaashi the bird without looking up from his gaming device. </p><p>“Hello, Bokuto. I’m Kozume Kenma, but you can just call me Kenma.” All said without looking up. </p><p>“And last but not least, we have Valentina, she came here from Puerto Rico to play volleyball.” Akaashi introduced her. </p><p>“Hello Bokuto-San. You can call me Val.” She smiled at him, her initial hard expression melted away. “And I’ll call you Owl Boy, for obvious reasons.” She added in. </p><p>Bokuto laughed a loud laugh.</p><p>“Yeah I’m pretty used to being compared to an owl.” Bokuto gestured to his hair, which was dyed a plethora of different shades of gray and spiked up on either side of his head to resemble owl horns. </p><p>“Anyways, I told them you were coming by to check out the room and they refused to leave, so here we are.” Akaashi gave a slight eye roll. “Also, this is the living room, obviously.” Akaashi slightly gestured and turned to continue the tour. </p><p>The living room was small, containing a couch, a small table with pillows to sit on surrounding it, a tv and a small table with a record player that was playing the music Bokuto heard as he walked in. It was simple yet everything worked together to make it feel homey and complete. There were books sitting here and there, some forming piles in the corner and by the couch. </p><p>Bokuto took in all he could, waved at the bodies in the living room and turned on his heel, rushing to catch up to Akaashi. </p><p>He was led into the kitchen, which was small but again, very homey. It was very neat, everything was put where it was supposed to be. The window over the sink looked out to the street in front and homed two plants that looked like they could use a bit more love and affection than they were receiving. </p><p>“This is the kitchen, as you can see. Nothing special, kind of small, but making meals in here isn’t that bad. I usually cook all of my meals, don’t really eat out. Do you cook?” Akaashi turned and looked Bokuto directly in his eyes. </p><p>Bokuto couldn’t hold back the smile that look raised in him. </p><p>“Yes, I usually cook breakfast and dinner after practice.” He beamed at Akaashi.</p><p>“Hmm, that can prove useful for the days I don’t feel like cooking.” Akaashi smirked at him and continued the tour. </p><p>Bokuto couldn’t help the skip of his heart. Of course if someone as gorgeous as Akaashi was smiling at you, your heart would react. It only made sense. </p><p>They continued the tour, the only thing left to see was the bedroom and bathroom. It all seemed too perfect. Akaashi was an effortless personality, letting Bokuto express his thoughts and never telling him he was too loud even though Bokuto knew he was. Akaashi was charismatic, drawing Bokuto in with every word that left his lips while still leaving enough room for Bokuto to be the main guide of conversation. </p><p>“So.” Akaashi abruptly stopped in the hallway and turned to him, leaning casually on the wall. “Yes or no?” </p><p>“Yes or no..? You mean to moving in?!” Bokuto lit up. “There’s no one else I’m competing with? Or um, anyone else you’re considering?” Bokuto was hesitant. </p><p>“There are others.” Akaashi slightly shrugged. “But I like you. Plus Suna told me all I need to know about you, so there won’t be any surprises.” </p><p>“WHAT?! You— Suna—.” Bokuto all but shouted. “I’ve been played.” He realized. </p><p>Akaashi shrugged. </p><p>“So, yes or no.”</p><p>“Well, yes, of course yes.” Bokuto tried to hide his excitement. </p><p>“Perfect. You can move in this weekend, if that works for you.” Akaashi started walking towards the living room again. </p><p>All of Bokuto's doubt melted away, his muscles didn’t ache as badly, his mind didn’t race as quickly. He would finally have his own place, a calm place with nice people. A place he could grow and move forward with what was best for him. He couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Ughhhh do you have to bring SO MUCH STUFF?!” Kuroo groaned loudly through a yawn. “It’s so early, is Roommate Boy even going to be awake?” He dragged his feet the short distance to the apartment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“His name is Akaashi and you’re literally only holding two suitcases you crybaby.” Bokuto rolled his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever, is </span>
  <em>
    <span>Akaashi</span>
  </em>
  <span> even awake or did you drag me out of bed for nothing Bo.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter if he’s awake or not, before I left he gave me an extra key. He told me he wakes up early anyways so I can come whenever I’m ready.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kuroo just huffed in response. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bokuto could feel the electricity buzzing through his fingertips as he reached to unlock the door that stood, once again, between him and his new home. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Breaking the news to his sisters wasn’t easy for him. They cried and pleaded and bribed him to stay, and truthfully, many times he almost gave in. In the end, the decision to move out prevailed and he was packed and ready to go within two days. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bokuto turned the key in the lock, the click sound raising the excitement inside of him. He quietly swung the door open and was greeted to jazzy music playing softly throughout the front of the house. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Looks like Roommate Boy is awake.” Kuroo took a hard sniff. “And from the smell of it, he’s a stoner.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bokuto and Kuroo kicked their shoes off and walked down the hall to the living room. On the couch, passing a joint back and forth were Akaashi and Kenma. Kenma was nose deep into the gaming device he held, per a usual Bokuto was quickly learning, while Akaashi had his legs curled under him and a book in his hands. The jazz playing through the house had a deep voice singing over it and Bokuto loved the atmosphere. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning Akaashiii!” Bokuto walked into the room making his presence loudly known. “And good morning to you Kenma.” He beamed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning Bokuto-san.” Kenma said in a low voice, looking up to meet Bokuto’s wide gleaming golden eyes with his own cat-like golden ones. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then his eyes flicked away from Bokuto, moving slightly to his left. Kenma’s eyes froze on the spot, his head slightly tilting to one side. Bokuto followed his gaze to find Kuroo frozen where he stood and under Kenma’s gaze. Kuroo looked stuck, not blinking once, simply keeping eye contact with Kenma. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning Bokuto-san.” Akaashi put his book down with one hand and the joint in the ashtray with the other. “And good morning Bokuto-san’s friend.” Kuroo finally broke eye contact with Kenma and looked towards Akaashi. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kuroo Tetsuro.” He grinned at Akaashi, a slight redness had made home in his cheeks. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Akaashi simply smiled in response. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m hoping we aren’t interrupting anything, I just wanted to get settled in early. I don’t have practice today but I like to get into the gym on the weekends and I didn’t want to wait until after to bring all of my stuff over.” Bokuto rubbed the back of his head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s no problem Bokuto-san. Kenma, go to my room. I’ll meet you there in a bit.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Without saying a word, Kenma grabbed his device, the joint and began walking down the hallway but not before he glanced in Kuroo’s direction one more time and stole one last moment of eye contact. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, follow suit and go to the first room on the left. Make yourself useful and start unpacking allll the stuuuuuff I brought.” Bokuto mocked Kuroo and pushed him in the direction of his new bedroom. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kuroo dragged his feet down the hall, disappearing through a doorway. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bokuto turned back towards Akaashi, who was already staring at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks!” Bokuto used his outdoor voice. “Thank you for letting me move in, I mean! I know this is going to be good for me! It was getting hard living at home and being my sisters’ wench, I guess you could say. I’m the Ace of the National Team and I have to stay on top of my game but my body was just getting sooo run down between practicing, cooking, cleaning, being an uncle. This is going to be my first night of peace and quiet.” Bokuto stopped talking suddenly. Akaashi was staring at him intently, absorbing every word he said with interest and it was making Bokuto self conscious. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Akaashi realized he wasn’t going to continue. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I’m very happy to have you here Bokuto-San.” Akaashi walked towards Bokuto and laid his palm against his forearm, causing shivers to run through Bokuto’s skin. “If there’s anything you need, or want to talk about, I’m always here. But for now, I’ll be in my room. You should get unpacked.” Akaashi turned to walk away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Also,” he turned back towards Bokuto, “I do smoke, as you can see. It helps me… stay calm. I hope it won’t be a problem.” Bokuto could see that he was genuine. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No it’s not a problem. I mean, I don’t do any of that stuff but my sisters did occasionally and it never really bothered me.” Bokuto shrugged with a smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Perfect.” Akaashi turned and headed to his room. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bokuto walked through the doorway to his own bedroom and saw Kuroo slumped on the hardwood floor using a pile of Bokuto’s clothes as a pillow. Slowly, Bokuto tiptoed to Kuroo, pushing through aching knees to quietly get down on all fours and leaned as close as he could to his ear. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“WAKE UP LAZY BONES.” Bokuto screamed at the top of his lungs. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“AhhhhhUghhhhhh.” Kuroo nearly jumped out of his skin before shoving Bokuto away from him with as much strength as he could muster. “You are SUCH an ASSHOLE.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t be sleeping on the job.” Bokuto laughed a booming laugh. “Now, finish unpacking that suitcase.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not even the one moving in here, why do I have to unpack.” Kuroo rolled his eyes while unzipping the second suitcase and dumping it’s contents on the floor. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Quit complaining Kuroo, it's getting old.” Bokuto hushed him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kuroo dug through the contents of the suitcase until he lifted up an article of clothing and polaroid photos fell to the floor. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bo. Why do you still have these?” Kuroo studied the pictures in his hand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There were many of them. Pictures of Bokuto and a beautiful, red-headed woman at a carnival, or in the car, and far too many of them kissing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you two broke up?” Kuroo looked at Bokuto. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We...We did break up.” Bokuto snatched the polaroids from him. “But just because we broke up doesn’t mean I can’t keep the memories.” Bokuto turned away from Kuroo.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bokuto… She broke up with you because she found someone else. Does it not hurt you to keep reminders of that?” Kuroo was genuinely concerned. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know man. How I see it, we had great times. I loved her, she loved me. We grow and we change as people and that means what we need changes too. I did everything I could, but I can’t control who she grew into and who she grew to love. She’s still an amazing person, and it’s not like we hate each other. She’s on her path and I’m on mine.” Bokuto shrugged and tucked the polaroids into a tiny pocket in the bag he was holding. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s very mature of you.” Was the only thing Kuroo could say in response.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bokuto wanted to tell Kuroo that truthfully, it was more than that. That Bokuto had been confused as to why he didn’t feel the sparks for her anymore in the months nearing the end of their relationship. Their sex life had fizzled into nonexistence and being around her felt like a chore. Of course she found someone new; someone who kissed the ground she walked on and saw sunshine in her eyes, and in all honesty, he was happy when she told him. He did care for her and more than anything, he wanted her to be happy, but Bokuto knew it would never be with him. He felt guilt about the relief he felt in that moment which was probably why he couldn’t get rid of the pictures. He didn’t want to forget her, felt like he owed it to her to remember their moments together, even though he clearly wasn’t in love with her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But hey, since we’re on the looove subject or whatever,” Bokuto cut his internal monologue short, turning back towards him and wiggling his eyebrows. “That eye contact you made with Kenma, want to talk about it?’</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The redness made its way back home to Kuroo’s face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kuroo tried and failed to act clueless. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kuroo.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He huffed. “I don’t know. He’s kind of beautiful. I’ve never looked at another guy that way and yet, the way he looked at me made my heart beat faster than it ever has. It felt like he looked straight through my eyes to my soul. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be in the same room with that guy ever again.” Kuroo confessed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why not just get to know him?” Bokuto pondered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“WhY nOt jUsT gEt tO kNoW hIM?” Kuroo imitated him while throwing a bundle of socks at his head. “I don’t have time for that. Volleyball is my main priority. Plus I don’t play video games OR smoke weed. What could we possibly have in common?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re impossible.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The two finished unpacking and dressed to leave for the gym. The train ride was shorter now, which gave the two more time to run drills. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>________</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bokuto couldn’t understand it, but he seemed to push effortlessly through each drill. He jumped higher, cut quicker and each muscle ached less and less during each drill. The smile on his face never faltered and without reason, Akaashi’s face never left the forefront of his mind. He was thankful, grateful, all of the above, to the man who had finally given him peace in his life.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He also couldn’t deny that the memory of Akaashi’s eyes didn’t leave his mind. The silhouette of the lean muscles in his arms wrapped tightly in the teal long sleeve he’d worn the first day he met him. The ripples of the clear muscles of his back that were hidden beneath the thin olive green long sleeve he had worn this morning. The pink of his lips every time Bokuto’s name escaped his lips. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bokuto choked on his breath, realizing what he was thinking about just as a ball came flying at his face. He quickly deflected it and turned a mean stare towards Kuroo, who turned away whistling as if he had no idea what happened. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> happening? Bokuto knew Akaashi was beautiful but what he couldn’t figure out was whether the thoughts he was having were normal. He quickly realized, but couldn’t figure out why, Akaashi’s face had lived in his mind from the very first time he knocked on that door. He remembered the feeling of Akaashi’s palm on his arm and the chills returned to settle on his skin. His body had never reacted that way to anyone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He tried, and failed, to shake the endless thoughts from his brain as he threw himself back into volleyball drills.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>________</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After working tirelessly for three hours straight, the sun began to set and the two decided they had worked sufficiently enough to head home. Bokuto waved goodbye to Kuroo as he exited at an earlier stop than they were accustomed to. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bokuto walked the short distance to his new home, more willing than any other day to push through the aching because he knew soon he would have time to himself. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He turned the key in the lock and opened the door. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Akaashiiiii I’m hooooome.” Bokuto shouted as he walked through the door, a laugh escaping his lips. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bokuto kicked his shoes off and was greeted by the record player playing soothing jazz throughout the house, a routine he would be happy to get used to. He walked to his room only to be stopped in his tracks at the doorway. In his bedroom was his bed, dresser and bedside table that he had left at his sisters’ house. Bokuto walked in and sat on the bed, rubbing his hands over the sheets that were neatly made over his mattress. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Welcome home Bokuto-San.” Akaashi now leaned in the doorway.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bokuto turned to face Akaashi, his surprise ridden face greeted by Akaashi’s soft smile. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How.. When.. What in the world..?” Was all Bokuto could think to say. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, two older women with a striking resemblance to you knocked on my door insisting on dropping this stuff off for their, and I quote, ‘Bokubear’. So I helped bring everything in. I hope you don’t mind, I set up your room and made your bed, not sure if you wanted it any way specifically.” Akaashi explained.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t even tell them where I moved… Damn those women are scary.” Bokuto mumbled under his breath. “You really didn’t have to do that for me, but thank you. I truly do appreciate it!” He bowed. “Please, let me make dinner for you as a proper thank you. I’m actually a very good cook, I’ve had years of practice.” Bokuto beamed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I would appreciate that Bokuto-san. I have a paper to finish, so I’ll be working on that until dinner is ready.” Akaashi smiled and walked towards the living room. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bokuto followed in a hurry, ready to get started on dinner. As he walked to the kitchen he saw Akaashi leaning over the record player, putting a different vinyl in to play. He set the needle on the vinyl and another round of captivating jazz music started playing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Akaashi. Do you always have jazz playing around the house?” Bokuto walked towards him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Akaashi’s head snapped up toward him, his expression a bit more on the serious side. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mmmm.. usually, yes. It’s kind of like with smoking, it.. helps.” He scrunched his face as he thought of the proper words to say. “It’s not always jazz though. I have a lot of different music.” Akaashi motioned towards a shelf that Bokuto didn’t notice before, containing a large collection of vinyls, CDs, even some tapes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Woah.” Bokuto breathed as he looked at the collection. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I usually listen to jazz or genres along the line of that when I study. Oh, and when Kenma is here, he only really likes jazz.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well I like it!! Who are you playing right now?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is Louis Armstrong.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And that’s who it was this morning?!” Bokuto was bouncing up and down, absorbed by the information. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No. This morning I was playing Frank Sinatra.” Akaashi let out a quiet laugh. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ohhhh. Well I like it!” And with that, Bokuto spun on his heels and almost skipped into the kitchen. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for him to make dinner, and once it was plated and ready to go he took two plates to the table that Akaashi was working hard typing a paper on. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Break time.” Bokuto put the plates down and clapped his hands together. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It looks delicious Bokuto-san. I really appreciate it.” Akaashi pushed the laptop away and pulled the plate in front of him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They ate together in silence, the only noise was small hums of approval over the meal. Once finished, Bokuto cleaned the mess he made and walked back to the table where Akaashi still sat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So..” Bokuto began. Akaashi looked up at him with those gunmetal eyes and Bokuto’s breathing hitched slightly. He cleared his throat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How long were you living alone before I intruded in on your space?” Bokuto sat at the table with him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Another scrunch of Akaashi’s face. “Not long. My previous… roommate moved out a little over a month ago after we got into a… disagreement. I thought he was going to move back in but when he didn’t I had to start considering getting another roommate.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And that’s when you started posting fliers around?” Bokuto asked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That was Val’s ridiculous idea.” Akaashi sighed a small laugh. “She wasn’t a fan of my previous roommate, not in the slightest. So when I told her I was considering looking for someone to fill the room she immediately went and printed an ungodly amount of those fliers.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I still think it’s crazy that I called, seeing as Suna is your buddy. Isn’t that crazy Kaashi!” Bokuto’s laugh boomed through the dining room. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Akaashi’s eyes widened a bit, looking directly at Bokuto with a mix of surprise and fear, though he settled back to his usual blank expression quickly. Not before Bokuto noticed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, that is quite crazy. Though, I guess it's good luck as well. As soon as you called, Suna let me know everything I needed to know about you. He didn’t have any particularly bad things to say about you.” Akaashi stated. “Though it would have been nice for him to warn me about how attractive you are.” He murmured under his breath with a slight shrug. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bokuto’s eyes snapped to him. “You’re just saying that.” He let out an awkward laugh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I may be a lot of things Bokuto-san, but I am not a liar and I can certainly admit when someone is pleasing to the eye. Though that had nothing to do with why I agreed to let you move in. I simply felt you were going to be less trouble than I had to deal with before.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Less trouble?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Akaashi’s face went blank.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“A conversation for another time.” Akaashi said blankly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bokuto chewed on the inside of his cheek, wanting to continue the conversation but deciding that wasn’t the best decision judging by Akaashi’s now, almost pained, demeanor. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I’m going to shower and head to bed now. I just wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done. This is the first time in a long time I’ve been able to just breathe. I am very thankful for you Akaashi.” Bokuto bowed in thanks. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Akaashi let out a louder laugh than before, though there was no humor in it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don't thank me yet Bokuto-san. You never know, you may absolutely hate living with me and want to move out in a month.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“NEVER!” Bokuto shouted, leaning forward. “From what I’ve seen, you’re great! I don’t think you could possibly be a bad roommate.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Another laugh. “Well thank you. I’m going to finish this paper, you should head to bed.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Right. Right. Goodnight Akaashi!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodnight Bokuto-san.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Once showered and settled in bed, Bokuto pulled his phone out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He said Louis Armstrong and Frank… dammit, Frank what.” He tapped his phone against his forehead a few times. “Ah, Frank Sinatra!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He quickly opened his web browser and began searching the names, spelling them incorrectly but luckily, being helped by the magic of internet prediction. While rubbing out his sore limbs, Bokuto looked up their greatest hits, looked at lyrics to songs, listened and saved every song he played. He realized he really liked this music, he could see why it was the main genre Akaashi played while he relaxed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After hours of searching and learning, the burning in Bokuto’s eyes started winning the battle. He put his phone on the bed side table and fell asleep, humming a jazzy tune he had carved in his memory. </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello,<br/>I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to read chapter 2.</p>
<p>I am taking the time to make a Spotify playlist of the music included in this ongoing story, because there will be quite a few songs and artists mentioned. I will be including it in the fourth or fifth chapter, once the playlist can be a bit more established.</p>
<p>I truly appreciate those taking the time to read my fic, I know it's starting off slow but with the ending of this chapter things will start speeding up a bit and deeper information about each character will begin to be exposed!</p>
<p>Likes, comments and kudos are always appreciated &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know I said every Sunday then disappeared. What an unexpected haitus, am I right? I started a new job and my available time became nonexistent as well as the problem of not having a computer aside from the computer at work, but those are all problems with newly found solutions.</p><p>Well, here is chapter 3 and I promise chapter 4 will not take a month to be posted. I'm sorry if I kept anyone waiting, and to the new folks who come across this fic, hello, welcome to my heart.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Bokuto awoke to the alarm on his phone blaring by his ear. In a haze, he felt around his night stand until he retrieved his phone and silenced the alarm. Opening a single eye, he glanced at his phone screen, the time read six am. With a groan, he quite literally rolled out of bed, his knees hitting the floor with a loud thud. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ughhhhhh.” He breathed in pain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wiping his eyes, he pushed himself off the floor and reached for the workout clothes he laid out the night before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His trainer, though unaware of how severe his ailments actually were, no longer allowed him to step foot in the gym one out of two of the weekend days the team had off of practice. Since Kuroo and him went yesterday, today was his banned day. He got into the habit of going for runs on his non-gym days, partially because he was afraid his physical abilities would take a hit if he took a day off but mostly because he was always wound up so tight that running once a week helped release something building inside him that he couldn’t name. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto slipped out of his room to head to the bathroom when he noticed a new genre of music playing softly in the living room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does he sleep?” Bokuto mumbled to himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can change, I can change</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I just wanna get rid off all the excess pain</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Everything's out just to stop things going my way</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She's the only thing to save me</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.. That’s an interesting song to be listening to at 6am.” Bokuto raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled his phone out of his pocket and typed the lyrics of the song into the search bar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I Can Change by Raleigh Ritchie</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The short summary he was able to put together was about a man who was aware that he was the reason his relationship with the love of his life was ending. Alcoholism, angry outbreaks, and insecurity kept him from treating the person who made him “better” the right way, and he wanted to change. He knew he could change. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if this is how he feels?” Bokuto thought, but quickly shook the thought off. “It’s probably not that deep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walked into the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. His gray and black hair fell in messy tufts in every direction. Deciding against spiking them up for a short run, he brushed his teeth, splashed water on his face and quickly exited the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Walking towards the kitchen, he noticed Akaashi sitting on the couch staring intently at his cellphone, his chin firm in the grasp of his hand and a joint smoking away in the ashtray on the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gooood morning Kaashi.” Bokuto exclaimed, calmer than usual in his tired state of being. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced up from his phone, eyes bloodshot from the lack of sleep Bokuto assumed he was experiencing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning Bokuto-san. There's omurice in the kitchen if you are hungry. Going to work out?” Akaashi took one last glance at his phone before setting it face down on the table and standing up with a stretch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though the maroon long sleeve Akaashi had on was far too big, stretching his arms above his head caused the bottom to hike up, revealing pale skin that looked pillow-soft to the touch and a deep v that disappeared beneath his plaid pajama pants. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto snapped his eyes back up to Akaashi’s face, heat in his ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m not allowed in the gym today, so I’m going to go on a short five mile run. I’ll definitely take you up on that breakfast, thank you.” He grinned from ear to ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Five miles is short? Hmm.” Was all Akaashi said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto took that as the end of conversation, turning to head to the kitchen when Akaashi turned to walk to the record player. The song Bokuto hadn’t been paying attention to was sharply cut off, replaced by a different song on the same vinyl a few seconds later. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Nothing is perfect, but your imperfections are quaint</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And your love is worth it and for that I will wait</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And though you hate me when you have a turn</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I drive you crazy, but you always return</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned over his breakfast. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another sad song, this time hand picked by Akaashi to listen to. There’s no way it was just a coincidence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto finished plating his breakfast and sat at the table, whipping his phone out of his pocket and opening the internet app. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finding the song was quicker this time, all he had to do was look down the song list on the album of the first song he looked up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bloodsport ‘15 by Raleigh Ritchie </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto clumsily shoved forkfuls of omurice into his mouth, refusing to lift his gaze from the lyrics to this song. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A song about a love that’s tough, falters sometimes, but worth it. The man would do anything for the object of his affection and hopes that the person he loves won’t fight it, even if he takes the wrong approach sometimes, even if it’s tough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm. Is Akaashi in love? Is he going through a break up?” Bokuto pondered as he chewed a mouthful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He swallowed the food only to begin gnawing on the inside of his lip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if I should say something.” He thought to himself. “I mean, it’s my first day here but I can’t leave someone if they’re upset.. but is he upset or am I just jumping to conclusions?” Questions swirled around his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He quickly scarfed down the rest of his breakfast and definitely did not have to pound on his chest once or twice when a few stray grains of rice went down his trachea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Bokuto washed his dishes he noticed a pair of headphones sitting on the counter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmmmm.” He hummed to himself, a thought swirling to the forefront of his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Akaashiiiii. Are these your headphones?” Bokuto yelled, hoping to be loud enough for Akaashi to hear him in the living room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who else’s would they be Bokuto-san.” Akaashi’s smooth voice danced through the kitchen straight to the hairs on the back of Bokuto’s neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Geeeez!!” He turned around, jumping away from Akaashi and getting into a poorly postured fighting stance. “You GOTTA make some noise man.” He relaxed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A low chuckle escaped Akaashi’s lips, though his eyes showed no humor. Blue eyes rimmed with crimson and half lidded never lifted their gaze from Bokuto. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes they are mine. Why do you ask?” Akaashi took his typical stance of leaning in the doorway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I possibly borrow them for my run? I’ve never listened to music on a run, even though I know it’s a really popular thing to do. So I was thinking maybe I could give it a try.” Bokuto was ranting. “I mean, I don’t have much music on my phone, but I do have some Frank Sinatra and Louis Armstrong songs that I found after you told me about them last night. There’s this one song, ummm, what’s it called.. Oh! La-Vie-En-Rose. I feel like that would be a cool song to run to, so I was thinking about giving it a try. I really like jazz.” Bokuto looked up from his hands, which he didn’t remember looking down at in the first place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s eyes pierced his own. He was listening, intently, arms crossed over his chest. His eyes squinted when they met Bokuto’s golden gaze, a question lingering in the depths of the deep pools. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm.. You like my music?” Akaashi asked more to himself than to Bokuto. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love it!” Bokuto exclaimed. “Though…” He trailed off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stabbed deeper with his eyes, urging Bokuto to continue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He realized he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to tell Akaashi that he was wondering all morning if he was sad, or had ruined a relationship, or was in a relationship at all. He didn’t want to pry, and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>certainly</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t know Akaashi well enough to assume that was even the case. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Though?” Akaashi nodded forward, verbally urging Bokuto this time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, though, I was wondering if you were busy today? I, um, would love for you to show me your music library. Maybe we can hang out? If you’re not busy!” He asked the question before he truly thought about what he was doing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course Akaashi wouldn’t want to hang out with him. Just because they lived together didn’t mean Akaashi would automatically want to be his friend or spend any more time than necessary with him. How could he be so stupid? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s face twisted with uncertainty, causing Bokuto to frown. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um.. sure… I don’t see why not. I was only planning on proofing my paper but.. I guess that can wait.” Akaashi said, his face shifting back into it’s normal apathetic state. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The smile that consumed Bokuto’s face was almost contagious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cool! I should be back from my run within the hour! I’ll shower and we can just hang all day!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like a plan. Use the headphones all you want.” With that, Akaashi walked out of the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>______</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took Bokuto the first few minutes of his run to get used to having headphone wires swinging around as he ran. His hands would constantly collide with the cord, getting tangled in his fingers and ripping the buds from his ears. Once he decided to tuck the cord through his hoodie, only giving it freedom from the neck hole and the bottom hem by the pocket, it was smooth sailing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hold me close and hold me fast</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The magic spell you cast</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is la vie en rose</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto had been listening to the same song for the entirety of his run. He wasn’t used to this neighborhood, everything was new and he had to be conscious of where he was going, which turns he was making, which stores he was passing, so he would know how to get back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though he’d never seen any of these buildings, never seen the faces of the people working as they watched him run by through the window, everything seemed more beautiful. Colors swirled around him, bold and attention catching, reminding him of all the things he’d ever loved. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When you press me to your heart</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m in a world apart</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A world where roses bloom</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto kept running, the aching in his legs a dull whisper beneath the deep, soothing voice that serenaded him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He found himself daydreaming, realizing the images in his head were no longer memories, but feelings that the song birthed into him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He imagined himself lying in a field, roses and dandelions spread as far as he could see mixing with bright greens and swaying with a breeze that whispered across his skin. He laid on his back, looking up into the almost too blue sky and took deep breaths, smiling through each one. A hand came down on his fingers, intertwining. He lifted the intertwined fingers to his eyes. The hand was pale, fingers long and slim as they hooked around Bokuto’s hand. Veins were prominent and yet the hand still looked softer than the clouds in the sky. The thumb began to stroke small circles over the back of Bokuto’s hand and he hummed in approval. As he slowly turned his head to see the owner of the hand, a loud horn blared through his ears, over the music, and made the hand disappear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto snapped out of his daze to see a car to his right, slammed on their brake and blaring their horn at him. How long had he not been paying attention?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry!!” He put his hands up in apology and ran out of the street. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Looking down at his phone, Bokuto realized he had run three miles in one direction, meaning his five mile run became a six mile one all because he wasn’t paying attention.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Might as well start heading back.” Bokuto shrugged, putting the headphones back in and resuming the music.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>______</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finally walked back through the door, over an hour later, Bokuto all but collapsed onto the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was easy to ignore the pain when his brain wasn’t allowing him to live in reality, but now as he stopped the movements of his limbs, all he knew was pain. He focused on his breathing, knowing it would subside soon and he would be able to get up and rub all the Icy Hot he needed onto his knees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a few minutes and many deep breaths, Bokuto got back onto his feet, and walked as carefully as he could toward the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he passed the living room, he noticed Akaashi napping on the couch and Bokuto realized, for the first time, the house was deafeningly quiet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked down at Akaashi’s sleeping face, the most content expression Bokuto had seen him wear. His breath was light, almost nonexistent. The redness that lined his eyes had intensified. On the sleeping boy's chest was his phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stood and observed the movement of Akaashi’s chest, counting his breaths. Akaashi stirred ever so slightly, the phone shifting on his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as Bokuto was about to grab the phone to move it to the table, it lit up accompanied by a soft jingle of a ringtone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tsumu</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A picture of a smiling boy with honey blonde hair and brown eyes accompanied the name. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pulled his hand back quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In his slumber, Akaashi placed his hand over the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pale. Slender fingers. Dainty veins. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s eyes got wide and he all but sprinted to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror, eyes searching his reflection and he was unsure what exactly he was expecting to see. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hand he had almost gotten run over daydreaming about belonged to a boy. He was daydreaming about holding a boy’s hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It all became so clear when he saw Akaashi’s hands. Masculine AND dainty? How was that possible?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quickly, he turned the shower on to the hottest temperature he could bare and stripped down, stepping into the watery inferno with no hesitation. He let the scolding water wash over his head, down his body, to the drain, hoping it would simply wash away any confusion that was stirring inside of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Certainly, being attracted to boys wasn’t a bad thing. Right? Lots of asteemed people were… gay. Was Bokuto gay? Was being attracted to men the same as liking men? Was the daydream about him liking a man or simply being attracted to the hands of a man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He realized it all made sense. Why he never </span>
  <em>
    <span>truly </span>
  </em>
  <span>connected with the women he tried to date. Why he always felt himself so emotionally invested with his male friends. Why everything happened the way it did in high school.. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sighed. What a perfect time for an existential crisis. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He finished his shower and wrapped a towel around his waist with a sigh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He swung the bathroom door open to be face to face with Akaashi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a loud shriek, Bokuto jumped away from the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“DAMMIT AKAASHI!!” He grabbed at his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sorry. Uh, we were still… hanging out right?” Akaashi asked. His eyes strayed down, observing every hard line of Bokuto’s body, following water droplets as they trailed down.. down… eventually settling on the towel then quickly snapped upwards to meet Bokuto’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course Kaashi! Why wouldn’t we?” Bokuto tilted his head, face on the more serious side. Nothing had happened for him to think they wouldn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, just making sure, I guess.” Akaashi’s voice was normal but his eyes had drifted past Bokuto, far away from the small bathroom they both occupied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey are you okay?” Bokuto lowered his neck in an attempt to look Akaashi in the eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” He gave a quick smile, turning to walk down the hall. “Get dressed then.” Akaashi waved his hand as he walked to his room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto was left standing there, wondering again if he should press the issue. He decided not to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>______</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto, now dressed in his team hoodie, sweats and smelling heavily of Icy Hot, strolled into the living room. The silence was gone, in its place a soothing song. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Kaashi, what song is this?” Bokuto asked, plopping on the couch next to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s called Shivers by SG Lewis.” Akaashi said without looking up from his book. He took a sip from the drink in his hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t think it’s too early to be drinking?” Bokuto raised an eyebrow. Did Akaashi always drink this early? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If 11 am is late enough for mimosas or bloody mary’s, it’s certainly late enough for whiskey.” Akaashi said to him with a smirk on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.” Bokuto hummed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So Bokuto-san. What do you have planned for us today?” Akaashi closed his book and turned to face him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Umm.. well.. maybe just talk? I didn’t have anything planned to be completely honest.” Bokuto rubbed the back of his neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then, talk.” Akaashi urged, taking another gulp. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, okay.. So when is your birthday?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“December 5th. I’m a Sagittarius.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh! I’m a Virgo!” Bokuto stated, proudly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Birthday Bokuto-san. Start with the birthday.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh right right, September 20th!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.” Another sip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto felt nervous for a reason he couldn’t pinpoint. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um.. Okay, I know I said we would talk about music so let’s play a game!” Bokuto suggested, randomly thinking of a way to get to know Akaashi better. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A game? With music? Explain.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I ask you a question liiiiike ‘What song do you like to listen to when you’re happy?’ and we listen to it!” Bokuto grinned, proud of himself for coming up with this spur of the moment activity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...ooookay. Sure.” Akaashi hesitated, cocking an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So we’ll start with that question. A song you play when you’re happy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked at Bokuto for a few contemplative seconds before grabbing his phone and scrolling for what felt like minutes. How much music did he have?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, the music that was playing sharply cut off. Akaashi set his phone down and let the song he picked begin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were no words to the song, even as it played half way through. It was upbeat and had an electronic feel to it, as though someone was playing the song completely on an electric keyboard. Bokuto bobbed his head and shimmed his shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hard to be upset about anything when this song plays, isn’t it.” Akaashi leaned his head back on the couch, eyes closed, his lips slightly curled upward and the cup held loosely between his fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It really is!” Bokuto exclaimed. “What’s the name?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pastel by Moe Shop and Snail’s House.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s laugh boomed through the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Snail’s House?! What a crazy name!! I love it.” Bokuto quickly whipped his phone out and searched the song, saving it once he found it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once the song finished, Bokuto let his smile sit in the silence before he thought of another question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay okay, a song you play when you’re feeling calm.” Bokuto said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that not the same as feeling happy Bokuto-san?” Akaashi looked at him, the redness in his cheeks indicated that the liquor was having an effect. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! No it’s not the same! When you’re alone, and nothing necessarily happened to make you smile but nothing happened to make you sad either. You’re just in the moment! What do you listen to?” Bokuto turned to him, a large smile on his face as he explained what he meant. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi paused for a moment, thinking about what Bokuto had said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, honestly, I guess you could say the song I was playing when you came in. I wasn’t feeling happy, but I guess I’m not feeling sad either.” Akaashi twisted his face into the expression that showed how stumped he was with Bokuto’s question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay! Seems a little cop out-ish but I guess I’ll take it this time Kaashi!” Bokuto laughs and nudges Akaashi in the forearm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This feels a little one sided Bokuto-san. Shouldn’t I be asking you questions too?” Akaashi turned towards Bokuto. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I don’t really listen to music so I can’t really play the game.” Bokuto’s eyebrows scrunched together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was simply going to ask a question.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.. Then go for it Kaashi!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi chewed on his lip at the continuously used nickname, but said nothing about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why volleyball? What made you choose that sport?” Akaashi asked, shifting so he was facing Bokuto and crossing his legs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto took that as the opportunity to face Akaashi as well, bending one leg to rest on the couch while the other foot stayed flat on the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well.. hmm.” Bokuto scratched at his head, thinking deeply about the question. “I was always competitive, for as long as I can remember really. When I was little, basketball seemed fun, and I considered it for a while. I even asked my parents to put me in a basketball club. But on the first day, I walked into the gym early and that’s when I saw it. The giant net, giant people, jumping higher than I had ever thought possible, hitting the ball with so much power, straight down or across the court. I saw people getting block after block. The sound of the hard smack on the ball, it was like music to my ears Kaashi!” Bokuto smiled at him but his large, golden eyes were still far away, reminiscing. “I wanted to do that. More than anything, I wanted to be the best at THAT. I wanted to jump the highest, hit the hardest, block the best. I instantly ran all the way back home and told my parents I wanted to play the sport with the giant net instead of basketball and the next week I was in my first volleyball club.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared at him, his face expressionless but his eyes were searching Bokuto’s face before they settled on his smile, causing his own features to soften. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s a great story Bokuto-san.” Akaashi diverted his eyes from Bokuto’s face, looking down at the cup in his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay! Next song! What do yo-” Bokuto began. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually.” Akaashi cut him off. “Technically, you asked me two questions. So I believe that I have one more question to ask you.” Akaashi raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ahhhhhhkaaaashiiiiiii.” Bokuto whined and fell back on the couch. “You didn’t even teeechnically answer the second question. That’s so unfair!” Bokuto crossed his arms across his chest, back still on the couch cushion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh stop being a baby, Bokuto-san. It’s not my fault you asked a question that was already teeechnically answered.” Akaashi mocked Bokuto, stretching a foot out to kick him in the shin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto popped his head up to look at Akaashi with a sigh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine! Ask away.”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi thought for a second, taking the largest gulp he had taken since Bokuto sat with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did you agree to move in with me? I was a stranger just like you, and yet you were so eager. Explain.” Akaashi looked at him, a hint of suspicion flashed across his face only for a second before it settled back into its usual state. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um…” Bokuto was taken aback. “Well, I can’t say I haven’t put a lot of thought into that exact question… I guess I was really eager to move out on my own Kaashi.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That explains why you moved out, but why did you pick </span>
  <em>
    <span>me </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto-san.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto noted how Akaashi’s voice had softened, sounding unsure. But about what?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sitting back up, Bokuto again lowered his neck, resisting the urge to touch his chin, to pull Akaashi’s gaze from the cup in this hand to Bokuto’s golden eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t I pick you Akaashi? I mean, it’s not like I was looking anywhere else to move. I just came across your flier while I was walking to the train and I’m not sure why, but I grabbed a slip. I questioned everything, why I was considering leaving my family, why I was calling, why I was walking to this house. I could barely even bring myself to knock on the door. But when you answered, nothing felt… bad about you? I guess. Then I walked in and saw my own teammate.. It kind of felt like fate. Like I had been praying for a change without even knowing it and now everything was just being handed to me and I couldn’t question it. I think I decided that I wanted to move in when you showed me the house. It's rare that people let me talk as much as I feel the urge to. Most times I can stop myself from going on and on but sometimes I can’t and I’m always reminded how much of a burden it is to listen to me, or hang out with me. How I’m so good at everything ‘cept shutting up. But you didn’t shush me once. You didn't even have a facial expression like I was bothering you. I felt… accepted. I know that’s dumb to say because I barely met ya, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say no when you asked me to move in.” Bokuto finished his ramble and looked up at Akaashi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The redness that had faded from his eyes had returned tenfold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Awwww you crying Kaashi?” Bokuto grinned and pulled him into a friendly hug. “S’okay to cry. Let it out.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not crying, idiot.” Akaashi tried to push him away but his own laughter also rang through the room, mixing with Bokuto’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, you got your second question! My turn again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually, intermission time.” Akaashi paused the conversation, holding up an empty glass. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Time for round two I’m assuming?” Bokuto raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are correct Bokuto-san. And time for a joint.. if that’s alright with you?” Akaashi tilted his head in question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you Kaashi, you can smoke whenever ya want! I’m not bothered by it one bit.” Bokuto put his hands behind his head and leaned back on the couch, kicking his feet up on the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Feet off the table, Bokuto-san.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ughhhhh, no fun.” Bokuto groaned, but listened to what he was told. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll get used to it.” Akaashi smirked, disappearing toward the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pulled his phone out and started looking over all the music he had saved in the last 48 hours. It made him a tad giddy to not only know that he had opened a door to new horizons with music, but also, that he was getting to know his roommate better.. even if Bokuto was the one doing all the talking about his life while Akaashi simply played songs. He still felt like he was learning about his roommate, the music speaking volumes over Akaashi’s silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His phone buzzed, snapping him back to reality. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kuroo </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>&gt;     Hey, busy? Down to get some practice in? (: </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto chewed on his lip. Of course he wanted to get practice in. He always wanted to play volleyball, but he knew his trainer would have his head if he stepped foot in the gym and truthfully, he was enjoying his time with Akaashi. It wasn’t common for Bokuto to have a good time with anyone other than Kuroo and he didn’t want to end it so soon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He quickly typed a reply to Kuroo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bokuto</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>&gt;    You know our trainer would have my head if I stepped foot in the gym. Plus, Kaashi and I are hangin out today. I’ll just catch ya tomorrow!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuroo’s response was almost immediate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kuroo</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>&gt;     Kaashi? You just moved in and he already has a cheesy nickname? You replacin me already Bo? I’m hurt.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto rolled his eyes at his overly dramatic best friend. Kuroo knew he would never be replaced, he just liked to pull Bokuto’s leg. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked up when he heard footsteps approaching. When Akaashi came into view something felt off. His head was hanging low staring at his phone screen, a whiskey bottle occupied his hand with a lit joint held carefully between two fingers in the same hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um.. everything alright Kaashi?” Bokuto hesitated to ask. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s head snapped up to meet his eyes. Blue orbs floating in crimson pools met Bokuto’s gaze. Akaashi had been crying, or at least he was holding back the urge to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He said nothing. He simply sat next to Bokuto, took a large swig from the whiskey bottle and hit the joint in the same breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Intermission over. Next question.” He said flatly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto wanted to ask him what was wrong. What had changed in the short walk to the kitchen that made him return with the entire bottle instead. However, he knew well enough that if someone wanted to talk about their emotions, they would. Bokuto didn’t want to pry, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave the situation alone. He had to know what Akaashi was feeling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A song to explain what you’re feeling right now.” Was all Bokuto said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi eyes, once again, snapped up to meet Bokuto’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto..” His voice was barely audible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Play a song, Akaashi.” Bokuto was serious. He wasn’t going to let Akaashi go through whatever it is he was experiencing alone. Bokuto wasn’t the type of person to leave someone in a bad state. If he could do something, he would. He just needed to know what Akaashi was feeling and this was the easiest way for both parties. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sighed and scrolled through his phone slowly, picking a song after a few seconds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Deep piano chords filled the room with sadness.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Smash all the pictures</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Where I am in the frame </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Toy with my emotions</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>As if it is a game</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>In the heat of the moment</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Call someone else’s name</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I would love you just the same</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s mouth dried instantly. He continued to listen to the song Akaashi chose to describe his current state of mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The song explained how the singer would let the person they loved do anything to them. Cheat, lie, leave them for dead, and he would still love them. No matter what, no matter how their heart was abused and broken, the love would never falter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked at Akaashi, who was staring at the phone in his hand. He could feel his heart squeezing and for a small moment in time, Bokuto regretted asking what was wrong. Akaashi was in love, and he was in pain, and that was simply none of Bokuto’s business. So why did he let the words he spoke next come out of his mouth?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this about that Tsumu guy?” Bokuto swallowed, wishing he could take the question back when he saw Akaashi’s reaction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stiffened, snapping his head up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you know him?” Akaashi was more serious than Bokuto thought possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t! I.. um.. When you were napping, I was going to move your phone off your chest so you wouldn’t roll and drop it. But you got a text from some Tsumu guy, so I didn’t touch it..” Bokuto played with his hands in his lap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was silent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I gotta use the bathroom.” Akaashi stated blandly, rising and walking out of the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sat, looking at the hallway that Akaashi had disappeared down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dammit you dumbass.” He smacked his forehead. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>_________________________________________________________________</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suna sat in his car, counting rain droplets as they ran down the windshield. He took a long drag of the joint in his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The empty feeling wouldn’t leave him, no matter how much he smoked, no matter how much he drank, no matter how many people he saw. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rested his head back against the headrest, pressing the next button on his phone before closing his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was distracted and in traffic </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn’t feel it when the earthquake happened </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But it really got me thinking</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Were you out drinking </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suna felt his throat go dry. He couldn’t resist the memories that flooded his brain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>__</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Val sat on his kitchen counter, swinging her legs and humming thoughtlessly to the music that rang through the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suna smirked as he looked at her, scrolling through his music library and changing the song mischievously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was distracted and in traffic </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn’t feel it when the earthquake happened </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But it really got me thinking</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Were you out drinking</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes snapped up to meet his, annoyance vaguely prevalent in them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, Suna don’t you dare.” Val groaned, leaning her head back on the kitchen cabinet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh come oooonnnnn. You know I love it when you sing for me.” Suna cooed, strolling across the kitchen towards her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You make me sing this for you eeeeveryyyy dayyyy.” She rolled her eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It makes my days </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>much better. Can you really deny me that?” Suna faked a pout, settling himself between her dangling legs. “Pleeeease?” He poked his bottom lip out more, leaning towards her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” Val lifted her leg, connecting with his abdomen and pushing him away from her. “Just fuck off first.” She rolled her eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suna grinned in success. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Val took a deep breath, her face taking on a serious expression, focused on the tune playing around her head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I tried to imagine your reaction. It didn’t scare me when the earthquake happened, but it really got me thinking..” Val closed her eyes and sang, her voice ringing through the air, wrapping around Suna’s head making him feel intoxicated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He settled himself back between her legs, studying her face as she sang beautifully for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...the night we went drinking. Stumbled in the house and didn’t make it past the kitchen.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suna placed both his hands on the counter, trapping her in his presence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Val opened her eyes, a hand coming up to gently rest on Suna’s cheek. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, it’s been a year now. Think I figured out how, how to think about you without it ripping my heart out.” Val leaned toward Suna, he could feel her breath wash over his face and closed his eyes, embracing it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her voice was angelic, absorbing him and making him feel a calmness he had never been blessed to feel until he met her. His appreciation for her singing was clear, though he didn’t know how to communicate his dying </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to hear her sing daily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I know, you know, we know, you weren’t down for forever and it’s fine.” Val continued serenading him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suna couldn’t help the upward twitch of his lips, the serenity that graced his bones. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, you know, we know, we weren’t meant for each other and it’s fine.” Her voice softened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He opened his eyes and was immediately met with her honey gaze, a sadness settled deep in the pools of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Val stopped singing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s all you get.” She grinned down at him, placing an obnoxious kiss on his forward and snatching the phone from the counter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not fair.” Suna pouted, not ready to be free of her voice in the air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Too bad.” She stated as she scrolled through his music library while simultaneously relighting the joint in her mouth. “It’s my turn.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She found the song she was looking for, pressing play and setting the phone down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A funk beat began to play. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. No no no no.” Suna threw his hands up in the air, walking away from Val. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She jumped down from the counter, grabbing his wrist and tugging him back towards her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh come onnnnnn Rintaro. Don’t be such a mood killer.” Val smiled that vicious smile at him as she swayed her hips to the music. “Dance with me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suna sighed, but couldn’t help the smile that played at his lips and truly, he couldn’t deny her when she said his given name with that voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We’re smashing mics in karaoke bars </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re running late with half your makeup done</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This method acting might pay our bills </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suna grabbed the joint from Val’s lips and pulled her towards him. They instantly became a mess of swaying hips and bobbing heads. They danced in unison around the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the beat swelled, Val twirled into his arms, back to his chest and head leaning back against his shoulder. He looked down at her, eyes closed as a joyous laugh escaped her lips, and he felt electricity coming from her directly to his heart. The feeling made it almost impossible to breathe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He loved these moments with her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>_________</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suna could feel his eyes burning, the joint smoked to a nub and he still felt everything he was trying so hard to run away from. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been a year since he and Val had even spoken to each other. Daily he hoped the phrase “time heals all wounds” would help him get past the pain in his heart and yet all the wound did was fester and grow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He clutched at his shirt, wishing with everything he could muster that he could claw these feelings away and yet, in his heart they stayed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could hear himself sobbing, openly pleading with any god that would listen to simply make it stop. But he knew it wouldn’t and he knew he couldn’t go through this alone anymore. He needed to call someone, anyone, who could help him with this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Through blurred vision, he opened his phone, scrolling and scrolling through his contacts until his finger settled on the one person that he needed to call. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He held the phone up to his ear, hands shaking, each ring making time feel longer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew the call had been answered, he could hear the breath on the other line. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rintaro.” She said simply. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Val.” His voice broke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A year later and only this voice could bring stillness to his pain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Val, I’m so sorry.” His voice was nothing but a dull whisper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There it is, with a special Suna/Val excerpt from a fic I'm *considering* writing eventually. </p><p>As I said, Chapter 4 will not take as long to be posted.</p><p>Also, the spotify link to the playlist for this fic will be posted with the next chapter! Thank you to everyone who has read and I hope as time goes on you grow to love the characters the way I do. </p><p>Appreciate you all!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Quick CW/TW before you begin reading, there is alcohol consumption and homophobic slurs used in this chapter. </p><p>Also, as I said last post, the Spotify playlist is ready and up to date with these chapter.<br/>The name is "Playlist for Your Heart (Lyrics to Your Soul)" under the username MVAL! Feel free to listen along as this chapter progresses!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Akaashi walked back into the living room half an hour later, his hair disheveled but not it’s natural curly way. It looked as if he had been tugging it in all different directions. His bloodshot eyes were far away and the teal long sleeve he had on when he left to the bathroom was now a black one. </p><p>“I apologize.” He sat next to Bokuto, running a hand through his wild curls. “I never usually let my emotions get the best of me. It must be the whiskey.” He leaned back against the couch, releasing a deep sigh. </p><p>“It’s okay Kaashi. I shouldn’t have forced you to play that song.” Bokuto frowned. “I do want to let you know that you can talk to me if you ever need to… about anything.” </p><p>Akaashi let out a breathy laugh. </p><p>“That is very much appreciated Bokuto-san, but completely unnecessary. I’m fine and I will continue to be fine.” His voice was flat with the last sentence and Bokuto simply didn’t believe a word he was saying. </p><p>“Anyways, I think it’s time for my question.” Akaashi turned towards Bokuto, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. </p><p>“Go for it.” Bokuto welcomed. </p><p>________</p><p>Sunday’s became a routine. Bokuto worked himself to the bone throughout the week, ignoring the aching of his body and constantly going against his athletic trainer’s recommendation of rest. Akaashi went to school and, as Bokuto would find out later in his first week living with him, managed the small bakery he passed on his Sunday morning runs. After his run, he would shower and join Akaashi on the couch. </p><p>He learned that Akaashi loved 80s music most, with that being his most extensive collection of music on the shelf. He even surprised Bokuto with how deeply he memorized his favorite 80s song, Lay All Your Love on Me. Akaashi drank whiskey every Sunday morning while listening to SG Lewis, along with other similar music, as a way to wind down from whatever he didn’t talk about throughout his week. Not much to Bokuto’s surprise Akaashi was brilliant, being an English and Philosophy major. </p><p>Akaashi learned all about Bokuto’s previous home life. He heard countless stories about Bokuto’s sisters, his nieces and nephews. He learned that Bokuto is ranked in the top five Ace’s of the nation. Bokuto showered him with stories about his best plays, his worst plays, his teammates and Akaashi found he never grew tired of hearing his elated enthusiasm when telling them.</p><p>They never spoke on the incident of their first Sunday together, nearly treating it as if that single moment never existed. Bokuto didn’t dare to utter that name again. </p><p>After spending four consecutive Sundays sprawled out on the couch talking endlessly, they had visitors. </p><p>“Hello, hello!” Val walked through the front door holding the bag in her hand over her head while kicking her shoes off. “Your favorite has arrived.” She glided into the living room. </p><p>Suna and Kenma walked in soon after, not reflecting even an ounce of the excitement Val showed. </p><p>“What’s up Owl boy. I dig the hair like this.” She strolled towards Bokuto, ruffling his hair. </p><p>“Thanks! Don’t get used to it though, it’s just a Sunday thing.” Bokuto laughed. </p><p>“I brought party favors.” She held the bag up once again. </p><p>“Yes, she insisted on picking up rum. I told her over and over that no one drinks it but she insisted.” Suna rolled his eyes. </p><p>“And I told Suna that I was sure Owl boy would at least take some shots with me. Riiiight?” Val smiled a mischievous smile, settling on the arm of the couch and nudging Bokuto with her elbow.</p><p>“Erm.. I don’t.. usually drink.” Bokuto hesitated. “I’ve never actually drank..” </p><p>“Even better, today’s the perfect day to change that.” Val smirked down at Bokuto. </p><p>“Don’t let her pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do. She’s always this eager. If you say no enough, she’ll give up.” Akaashi took a sip of his own drink before letting his head fall back against the couch.</p><p>“Yeah, she’s like a kid, eager and pushy but she gives up and moves on eventually once she doesn’t get her way.” Kenma added, looking up slightly from his Switch.</p><p>“Excuse you, I need everyone in the room to stop acting like I’m so predictable, thank you very much.” Val scowled. </p><p>“Not predictable, just consistently annoying.” Suna raised an eyebrow at her. </p><p>She stuck her tongue out in response. </p><p>“So, whaddya say Owl boy? One shot, just one. If you hate it, you don’t have to take anymore. But when you love it, we can take as many shots as you want. Please please pleaseee.” Val put her hands together, poking her bottom lip out. </p><p>Bokuto couldn’t deny that it was tempting. He wanted to know why Akaashi always felt the need to drink on Sunday’s. He wanted to know what it would feel like to run away from what ailed him. </p><p>“Okay. I’ll start with one and see from there.” Bokuto agreed, still hesitant but also slightly eager. </p><p>“Woo! I’ll go pour them! Suna, come.” Val jumped off of the couch and practically ran to the kitchen, tugging a begrudged Suna closely behind her. </p><p>“Is she always like this?” Bokuto asked aloud. Her energy was intense, even for him. </p><p>“Always. You get used to it.” Akaashi sighed a laugh. </p><p>“No you don’t.” Kenma retorted, settling on the floor. </p><p>He set his gaming device down and held a hand out towards Akaashi. With an unspoken understanding, Akaashi reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter, handing it to him. </p><p>Kenma placed the lighter gently between his lips and  effortlessly pulled all of his hair together between his hands, taking the elastic hair tie on his wrist and securing it into a low bun at the nape of his neck, stray hairs falling and framing his face. Digging into his pocket, he pulled an already rolled joint out and replaced the lighter that still rested on his lip, lighting the joint with a large inhale. </p><p>“<i>Pretty</i>.” Was Bokuto’s first thought to himself.</p><p>His second thought was that he needed to show Kuroo. </p><p>Bokuto quickly grabbed his phone, opening the camera and, not so sneakily, trying to capture the moment that Kenma thought no one was observing. He would have been successful too, if it weren’t for the fact that he failed to make sure his flash was, in fact, off.</p><p>The flash alerted everyone in the room of what exactly Bokuto was doing. Kenma looked up at him through the stray hairs hanging in front of his eyes at the exact moment Bokuto’s phone captured the image. </p><p>“What are you doing.” Kenma glared at him. </p><p>Bokuto laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. </p><p>“Bokuto-san likes to take photos of people. He’s taken a million of me already, don’t mind him.” Akaashi waved his hand, casually taking a sip of his drink. </p><p>Kenma's eyes flashed to Akaashi slightly before settling back on Bokuto in a squint. </p><p>“Don’t do it again.” Kenma warned, not sounding half as scary as Bokuto knew he was trying to. </p><p>“Okay, sorry.” Bokuto laughed awkwardly. </p><p>Akaashi had saved him from embarrassment so quickly he barely even had time to think.</p><p>His eyes flashed to Akaashi, hoping to give him a quick “thank you” but Akaashi had his eyes closed as he leaned on his hand. </p><p>He gave up on that and looked back at his phone. </p><p>Bokuto<br/>
&gt; attachment : 1 image</p><p>Immediately his phone started buzzing nonstop. </p><p>Kuroo<br/>
&gt; …<br/>
&gt; <i>Wow</i><br/>
&gt; <i>So pretty</i><br/>
&gt; <i>Also stop sending me pictures of him Bo.</i><br/>
&gt; <i>It’s an invasion of his privacy.</i> </p><p>Bokuto chuckled to himself. He knew Kuroo would like it just as much as he knew he would play upset. </p><p>Bokuto<br/>
&gt; <i>Mhm, you’re welcome. (:</i></p><p>“Shots are hereeeee!” Val announced her arrival to the living room. </p><p>Suna walked in slowly behind her, four shot glasses in his hand. </p><p>Bokuto felt his heart drop into his stomach. The moment had arrived and now he was nervous. He was absolutely sure that he couldn’t handle his alcohol, seeing as he’d never had a drop. </p><p>“Ready Owl boy?” Val shimmied her shoulders as she grabbed two shot glasses from Suna and sauntered over to Bokuto, extending a glass to him. </p><p>He grabbed it hesitantly, his nerves shaking him to the core. He had no idea what to expect. </p><p>“As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” He eyed the contents of the glass. </p><p>Clear and thick. He sniffed, immediately regretting that decision as a sharp scent wafted into his nose and stabbed behind his eyelids. Before he could stop himself, he was coughing uncontrollably trying to rid his head of the scent. </p><p>“First rule of liquor, you never sniff.” Akaashi informed him with a smirk and a kick to the thigh. </p><p>“Yeah, I think I’ve learned that now.” Bokuto choked out the sentence. </p><p>Val crossed the room to Kenma, holding out a glass for him. </p><p>“I’m not taking that.” He said with the joint in his mouth. </p><p>Val squatted down, looking him directly in the eyes. </p><p>“You will take whatever I give you, and you will like it.” She yanked the joint from his mouth, placing it into her own and shoving the shot glass into his face. </p><p>He sighed. “You are exhausting.” </p><p>“And you love me for it.” She smiled big before standing up and walking back over to Suna. </p><p>“Everybody raise your glass.” Val declared, only to be met by a groan from everyone in the room. </p><p>“Do we have to do this every time?” Suna let his head fall back in protest. </p><p>“I said, Raise. Your. Glass.” Her face took on a stern look, causing everyone to comply. </p><p>“Cheers, to Owl boy getting fucked up for the first time.” She smiled, her eyes looking deep into Bokuto’s fear stricken gaze. </p><p>“Don’t mind her. Just say cheers and she’ll be too distracted in five minutes to actually try and get you drunk.” Akaashi leaned towards Bokuto, his breath warm on his ear as he whispered his words. </p><p>Chills climbed up the length of Bokuto’s spine and he could feel the blood rush to his ears. </p><p>“Cheers.” He said, quickly throwing the shot back. </p><p>Another instant regret. </p><p>The burn in his throat was almost too much to handle. He closed his eyes as his head instantly started spinning and he could feel the warmth of the shot traveling down, settling in his stomach creating a pit of fire. </p><p>He opened his eyes to see everyone in the room staring at him intently. </p><p>Painfully, he swallowed the remnants in his mouth. </p><p>“That. Was. <i>Horrible</i>.” He choked, still feeling the burning in his throat. </p><p>A range of laughs rang through the air. </p><p>“Now let’s get the party started.” Val grinned. </p><p>She walked over to Akaashi, hand held out. </p><p>“Hand it over.” </p><p>Akaashi looked up at her, groaning before placing his phone in her outstretched hand. </p><p>“I swear everyday you remind me why I don’t date women. So demanding.” Akaashi grumbled. </p><p>Val snatched the phone from him. </p><p>“Akaashi, I’ve seen the boys you’ve dated and let me tell you, they’re as close to women as you can get.” Val gave a smug smile.</p><p>Bokuto turned to look at Akaashi. It was the first time he had openly commented on his sexual orientation. Though the gender of who Akaashi dated made no difference to Bokuto, it did stir the lingering question of his own sexuality that he had pushed into the depths of his soul. If someone as well-off and put together as Akaashi had no problem openly dating men, should Bokuto even be questioning his own self so deeply? </p><p>“Oh! I forgot to mention. Oikawa texted me confirmation that he is, in fact, having a get together today. So everyone, that being you and you,” Val pointed to Akaashi and Bokuto, “needs to have their best outfit on and be ready to go by 2 oclock sharp.” </p><p>Bokuto was snapped from his internal contemplation. </p><p>“A get together?” Bokuto questioned. </p><p>“Oikawa?” Akaashi breathed. </p><p>He and Val made eye contact. </p><p>“Last Oikawa told me, he won’t be there. It’s okay.” Val spoke softly. </p><p>Bokuto was astounded by the softness in her voice, he was almost sure such an expression was impossible for her. Her reassurance to Akaashi flowed through the air, washing over the room and calming him even though the feeling clearly wasn’t his to claim. </p><p>“Fine.” Akaashi sucked his teeth and took another swig. </p><p>“Good.” Her smile was kind. “One more thing, you all know Oikawa and his themes. Today’s is <i>Euphoria</i>, it’s some American show he’s been obsessed with. Now, I am the only person here who has a single <i>clue</i> about make up so obviously I will be in charge of getting you pack of wild animals presentable. Hope no one hates glitter.” The mischievous look was back on her face and Bokuto was scared. </p><p>“Ughhh glitter.” Kenma groaned but made no objections. </p><p>“A get together? On a Sunday afternoon? With… glitter?” Bokuto pondered aloud. He had so many questions that someone needed to answer. </p><p>“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to Bokuto-san.” Akaashi said in his normal flat tone.</p><p>Bokuto couldn’t help the fact that his feelings were.. hurt? Deep down, he wanted Akaashi to push the idea of him coming along, even if he didn’t want to. He wanted Akaashi to want to continue their routine of spending the entirety of their Sunday’s together, even if the atmosphere in which they spent it changed. </p><p>“Ummm.. No, no. I’ll go. It just seems so sudden.” Bokuto said awkwardly. </p><p>Admittedly, Bokuto mainly wanted to go so he could see what Akaashi was like in a more social setting. In the almost month Bokuto had lived with him, Akaashi had barely left the house, if not to go to school or work. Today was the first time all of his friends had come over since the day he came to be introduced to the possibility of moving in. </p><p>His eyes strayed to Suna. Bokuto was also intrigued with the idea of seeing what Suna was like outside of the gym. This was the most he had ever heard his voice, and though he seemed almost identical to Akaashi in demeanor and general disinterest with absolutely everything, he didn’t expect him to be the type to also drink on Sunday morning. Especially seeing as they have practice tomorrow afternoon.  </p><p>“Okay, time for tunes and more shots.” Val scrolled through Akaashi’s phone. </p><p>“Suna.” She snapped her head towards him and he rolled his eyes before turning and walking back towards the kitchen. </p><p>
  <i>You’ll always be my day one<br/>
Day zero when I was no one<br/>
I’m nothing by myself<br/>
You and no one else<br/>
Thankful you’re my day 1</i>
</p><p>Almost instantaneously, the mood in the room shifted. It was as though music had a hold on this entire friend group, causing them to shift from indifferent and playfully confrontational to relaxed and pleasant. </p><p>Suna returned shortly, a tray of shots occupied his hands. </p><p>Val grabbed more and distributed them to everyone, except Akaashi who was still drinking his whiskey. </p><p>“<i>Welp, there’s a first time for everything.</i>” Bokuto thought to himself, throwing this shot back as quickly as he did the first. </p><p>The burn that had never truly left intensified tenfold and he shuddered. How the hell did they do this so easily? </p><p>This was the routine his Sunday had taken, Val playing music and handing out shots back to back unless Suna stepped in, telling her to relax with the alcohol. </p><p>“We’re not all from the islands Val, alcoholism is in your blood <i>not</i> ours.” Suna groaned, having settled on the couch next to Akaashi. The redness in his face grew as Val continued shoving rum in his hands. </p><p>“Dios mio, pussy.” Was her only whispered response as she threw a shot back alone. </p><p>Four shots later and Bokuto was scorching all over. He had already disposed of the hoodie he had been wearing, left only in a thin tshirt and sweats. That didn’t help much, he was emitting so much heat even Akaashi had commented. </p><p>“Well, for my next song, I would like to dedicate this to you Akaashi.” Though it didn’t look it, the slight pink tinge to Val’s cheek indicated that she was feeling the liquor as well. </p><p>
  <i>Everytime the weekend comes, yeah<br/>
I know that it won’t be long, yeah<br/>
Till you’re gonna call my phone, yeah<br/>
You’ll be like “babe come over”<br/>
I know how this goes, yeah<br/>
Talk about you need closure<br/>
Too many missed calls, too many texts<br/>
Damn, I wish I missed my ex</i>
</p><p>Val got up as the song began, dancing over to Akaashi and playfully singing the lyrics to him. He rolled his eyes but Bokuto didn’t miss the smirk that crept onto his face before his lips relaxed again. </p><p>“Everytime the weekend comes, yeah. I know that it won’t be long, yeah.” Val sang her own rendition over the audio that played throughout the living room. </p><p>Val climbed onto the coach, standing between Akaashi and Suna, bending down to playfully serenade Suna. They looked straight into each other’s eyes. Suna sucked on his teeth, trying to prevent the smile that threatened to spread on his face and Val got so close to him that their noses were practically touching. It almost felt like the rest of the people who occupied the room were impeding on a personal moment. </p><p>It amazed Bokuto that none of them seemed the least bit affected by her antics. He had never met a personality like hers, and though he absolutely loved her energy, everyone else were such calm characters that he wondered how she even came to be tolerated by them, let alone accepted. It was a direct contrast to the harsh expression he was initially greeted with from her. </p><p>“Welp gentlemen, we’ve officially reached that point where Val has had far too many shots, all before 1 o’clock. That’s a new record.” Suna said, standing up and throwing Val over his shoulder in the process. </p><p>“Suna put me dooooown!” Val giggled, hanging upside down and softly banging on his back. </p><p>“I’m going to go force some water down her throat. We’ll be right back.” Suna smiled at the room, bowing with a flailing Val on his shoulder.</p><p>“You guys be prepared when I get back! We have to start getting ready.” Val pointed at the three boys still in the living room as she hung over Suna’s shoulder, disappearing into the kitchen. </p><p>Bokuto blinked with bewilderment. </p><p>“Are they dating?” His eyes still honed in on the hallway. </p><p>Akaashi guffawed. </p><p>“You would think right? I’m pretty sure Suna is in love with her because no one else would put up with her as much as he does. But sadly, Suna is emotionally stunted and Val… Well, Val got out of a relationship with his high school volleyball manager not too long ago. She didn’t play that song just for me. Her ex still texts and calls her nonstop, begging Val to take her back so you can only imagine how awkward that can be.” Akaashi explained.</p><p>“Her? So Val is a lesbian?” Bokuto tilted his head, more confused than before Akaashi had started explaining. </p><p>“Val has no type. If it breathes and can tell her how amazing she is, she’s game.” Kenma scoffed. </p><p>“Val is a very open person, she doesn’t discriminate.” Akaashi corrected. </p><p>Bokuto hummed with understanding. What an interesting group of friends. </p><p>“Oikawa. Is that another one of your friends?” Bokuto inquired. </p><p>“We met Oikawa through Val. He plays volleyball overseas, so he’s not here often.” Akaashi explained. </p><p>“Yeah, but when he is here he’s always throwing <i>something</i> at his house that involves getting dressed according to some stupid theme and drinking far too much.” Kenma muttered, obviously disapproving. </p><p>Another hum of understanding . </p><p>“Akaashi, I don’t see how you do this.” Bokuto exhaled, his head falling back heavily. </p><p>“Do what Bokuto-san?” </p><p>“Drink. I feel…” His voice trailed off. </p><p>He actually wasn’t sure how he felt. He would be lying if he said he felt <i>bad</i> because truthfully, he didn’t. He definitely felt heavy but deep down, he also felt unstoppable and that was a dangerous thing for him to be feeling at this moment. </p><p>“You feel like nothing matters, like you could take on the world with no regrets.” Akaashi finished his sentence, matter of factly. </p><p>Bokuto almost got whiplash from how quickly his head snapped to look at Akaashi. </p><p>“How..” His voice trailed off when gold met deep, understanding blue. </p><p>“I know Bokuto-san… And that means you know exactly how I do it.” Akaashi’s voice was so soft it was almost a whisper. </p><p>Bokuto felt an urge, a strong pull to reach out and touch Akaashi. Anything he could do to deepen the understanding they were quickly developing for each other but even in his drunken state, Bokuto knew that just wasn’t a good idea. </p><p>“Should we start getting dressed? I mean, before Val comes back forcing glitter on us?” Bokuto opted instead. </p><p>Akaashi and Kenma groaned in unison. </p><p>“Yeah, you’re right.” Akaashi pushed a hand through his curls.</p><p>“I’m not moving. She takes me as I am or she can fuck off.” Kenma grumbled from the floor. </p><p>Bokuto's laugh rang through the room. </p><p>He realized Kenma was already perfectly dressed. His black crew neck fit his slim body perfectly, even as he slouched on the floor. The black jeans he wore looked like they came from the 70s and had only gotten better in condition over time. A chain dangled from the belt loops on his jeans and the only color in his outfit came from the red converse that he discarded at the door. </p><p>“Come on,” Akaashi stood, kicking Bokuto’s foot as he walked towards the hallway, “we need to go change before we have to deal with an angry Val. That’s the worst kind.” He said nonchalantly, but Bokuto caught the fear in his eyes. He didn’t want to experience angry Val. </p><p>He scrambled up from the couch, following closely behind Akaashi until he got to his room. </p><p>“Shit.” He mumbled to himself with the realization that all he owned was sweatpants and volleyball shorts. </p><p>Bokuto destroyed his closet, pulling shirts from hangers and sweats from drawers, praying to whatever higher power was listening that he could find a single pair of pants that would prevent him from experiencing Val’s wrath. </p><p>“Hey Owl boy, almost ready?” </p><p>Speak of the devil and she’ll appear smiling in your doorway. </p><p>“I… um… don’t own any jeans.” </p><p>The light hearted laugh that escaped her lips caused Bokuto to relax the shoulders he didn’t even know he had tensed. </p><p>“Let me guess, Akaashi told you something about scary, angry Val. Ooo.” She wiggled her fingers in his face as she passed to sit next to him on his bed. </p><p>“Something like that.” He laughed awkwardly. </p><p>“I swear, they go to one of my games and suddenly I’m the devil’s vessel.” She laughed. </p><p>It seemed impossible for her to be speaking so gently after the plethora of interactions Bokuto had witnessed in the living that directly countered this softness. So much so, that Bokuto had no idea how to respond. </p><p>“Let’s just see if we can find something.” Val shifted to begin digging through the contents of Bokuto’s closet that now resided on his bed. </p><p>After a few minutes of silent digging, Val held up a pair of black cargo pants. </p><p>“These could work.” She examined the pants before throwing them at him. “Put them on.”</p><p>Bokuto caught the pants and held them awkwardly. </p><p>“Um, can you turn around or something?” </p><p>“It’s not a big deal Owl bo— wait. Are you <i>not</i> gay?” Val’s mouth gaped open with humor. </p><p>Bokuto felt his heart drop into his liver.</p><p>“Why.. would you think that?” He tried to keep his eyes normal size in his shock. </p><p>“No one can spend that much time with Akashi <i>willingly</i> without being, or becoming, a flaming homosexual.” Val shrugged, but there was an unspoken knowing in her eyes.</p><p>Without another word she stood and left the room, cracking the door shut behind her. </p><p>Bokuto slumped onto the bed, the pants tight in his grip. </p><p><i>“Are you fucking gay?”</i> </p><p>
  <i>“What are you a homo?”</i>
</p><p>Voices swirled around his head, forcing him to close his eyes and tuck his head between his knees. </p><p><i>“Sorry, I can’t be friends with someone like you.”</i> </p><p>
  <i>“Koutarou, if those are the things you’re going to do then you can no longer be here.” </i>
</p><p>Bokuto could feel his heart beating faster, his skin was blistering and his eyes were on fire. </p><p>
  <i>“Bokuto-san are you re— Bokuto-San?”</i>
</p><p>He didn’t recognize the voice. It didn’t fit, had never spoken to him with ill intention. </p><p>
  <i>“Bokuto-San.”</i>
</p><p>A hand came down on his shoulder, snapping him out of his head and back to reality. </p><p>He untucked his head to find Akaashi’s face a mere centimeters from his own. Their eyes locked and as badly as Bokuto wanted to move his face, to run away from the hand of the man who continuously caused him to question things he had pushed passed remembering, he couldn’t. </p><p>“Bokuto-san, what’s wrong.” Akaashi's voice was flat but he could see the worry in his eyes as they searched the entirety of his face for an ounce of understanding. </p><p>“Nothing.” Bokuto’s voice was hoarse. He cleared his throat. “Nothing, I’m fine Kaashi.” </p><p>“Bokuto-san, I don’t believe you.” </p><p>“I’m fi—“</p><p>“Stop lying to me.” Akaashi’s voice was firm. </p><p>He didn’t want to lie to Akaashi, he knew he shouldn’t. The fact of the matter was, Bokuto couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong. He knew the voices were real, he knew they had existed at a point in his life. But for the life of him, he couldn’t remember why they were saying those things, what had happened for such horrible statements to be directed at him.  </p><p>That’s when it dawned of him. Any moment in his life that wasn’t considered “good” was just empty space in Bokuto’s memories. He couldn’t remember the days that he had cried, the days he was scared, he couldn’t remember friends he had made and he could barely remember any family other than his sisters. How long had it been since he lived with his mom and dad? Where were they now? </p><p>“Koutarou.” Akaashi’s voice cut through him. </p><p>Gold met blue. </p><p>“I’m sorry. I think I’m just extremely drunk. Probably shouldn’t drink anymore today.” Bokuto faked a laugh and he knew Akaashi saw right through it. </p><p>Akaashi withdrew his hand, straightened his posture and looked down at Bokuto suspiciously. </p><p>“I don’t believe you.” He sighed. “But I won’t force you to talk to me. Finish getting dressed and come back to the living room.” He turned and left the room. </p><p>Bokuto was left sitting with nothing but empty memories and again he couldn’t help but feel pain. Maybe it was the liquor, maybe it was the plethora of faceless voices attacking his brain, but his heart ached. </p><p>With a sigh, he looked at the pants that Val had found. They were, in fact, black cargo pants and upon later inspection he realized that they were a pair Kuroo had given him over a year ago because they were too big for him. </p><p>He shimmied into the pants, thankful that they weren’t too small, and settled for a black long sleeve and yellow flannel that were lying on the top of his clothes pile. He grabbed the pile of clothes and hid them in the closet, deciding to deal with that mess another day. </p><p>He slowly made his way to the bathroom, hoping some cold water on his face would sober him up and get his mind back on a calmer path. </p><p>He looked himself in the mirror, cold water dripping down his cheeks, accentuating the drunken redness that currently lived in them. </p><p>Tugging at the messy strands of hair that framed his face he began searching for his hair products to do his signature hairdo when a voice rang through the room. </p><p>“Spike your hair and I’ll literally kill you.” </p><p>His head snapped up to see Val in the doorway, a soft smile on her face that in no way, matched the threat she had just made. Her face was adorned with jewels creating small, star clusters on her cheeks with white eyeliner bringing them together to create galaxies. Blue eyeshadow pooled on the inside of her eyes and outer corners, giving them a sharpness. </p><p>“But..” Bokuto began but he knew it was a futile argument. “Fine.” </p><p>“Come on, it’s your turn for makeup.” Her smile never faltered as she turned and left the bathroom. Bokuto followed close behind.</p><p>“Sit.” She gestured to the couch as she dug through her bag. </p><p>Bokuto sat, peering around the room and realizing that Val had already had her way with everyone else’s face. </p><p>Kenma’s eyes were adorned with red eyeshadow, gold flakes framing and perfectly matching his golden eyes. </p><p>Suna had soft blue eyeshadow under his eyes with white liner making his usual unbothered expression seem wider. </p><p>Bokuto searched the room for Akaashi's face, only realizing he wasn’t there when he walked in from the kitchen. </p><p>They locked eyes and <i>finally</i>, Bokuto lost all ability to think. The only thing his brain could register was beauty. </p><p>Somehow, Val was able to form gold glitter into perfect tear drops under his eyes. As he walked through the living room, the light that gleamed off the glitter reflected off the pools in his eyes and Bokuto was struck. </p><p>He had on a white turtleneck, covered with a blue long sleeve button up, all tucked into a pair of beige slacks.</p><p>“<i>Pretty</i>.” He thought for the second time in the day, this time hoping to take a mental picture to never forget the view.</p><p>“Bokuto-san, stop staring. It’s just glitter.” Akaashi settled next to him on the couch. </p><p>“I wasn’t staring.” He quickly averted his eyes to everywhere in the room except for where Akaashi resided. </p><p>“Oookay, I have a great idea.” Val clapped his hands together. “Close your eyes.”</p><p>Bokuto did as he was instructed but felt no hands on his face.</p><p>“Give it.” He heard Kenma demand. </p><p>“You get one chance, you fuck up and I’m taking it back.” Val warned.</p><p>Bokuto opened his eyes to see Val handing the phone to Kenma. </p><p>“Whatever you say, your majesty.” Kenma mocked with a bow, flipping her off when he straightened up. </p><p>
  <i>E=mc squared<br/>
I got a blimp inside my head<br/>
Flew over the cuckoo’s nest</i>
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p><i>The lights are on, there’s no one here</i><br/>
Puffing with the dragons<br/>
I’m livin’ for the thrill, formula</p><p>“You pass this one.” Val’s eyebrow twitched as she smirked. She turned back to Bokuto, “Close.”</p><p>He closed his eyes again, this time greeted by the soft touch of Val’s hands on his cheek.</p><p>Her hands were soft, gently moving his head this and that way as he felt her apply the gel textured glitter underneath his eyes. </p><p>“Done.” She stated, pulling her warm touch away from his cheek. “Look.”</p><p>Bokuto opened his eyes to be greeted by his reflection in a small mirror staring back at him. </p><p>Underneath his eyes were deep, blue glitter teardrops. He turned to look at Akaashi, who was already staring, the gold tears under his eyes perfectly identical to Bokuto’s.</p><p>“Handsome.” Akaashi said only loud enough for him to hear. </p><p>Bokuto felt the burning in his cheeks return. </p><p>“One more for the road.” Val began handing out shots. “Then it’s time to have some fun.” That mischievous smile just refused to leave her face as she handed a shot to Bokuto.</p><p>His eyes darted to Akaashi, who was still staring at him, an eyebrow raised. </p><p>“I’ll be fine.” Bokuto gave a weak smile as he threw the shot back, letting the burn take him and embracing the invincible feeling that he wanted to return. </p><p>Little did he know, that statement was far from the truth.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well guys, I think I'm ready to invite angst to the party. </p><p>I also think every other weekend will be my upload times so we can some more consistency here!</p><p>You guys are appreciated and I hope you are enjoying reading this as much as I enjoy writing it! Love you all!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And we're back. </p><p>I'm just going to drop some TW/CW here for you guys - homophobic slurs, drug use.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Suna, you drive?” Bokuto tried not to slur through his words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The more you know.” Suna retorted with a chuckle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto, Akaashi and Kenma slide into the backseat; Akaashi forced to sit in the middle because Kenma “refused to feel like a child between two abnormally long humans”. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once Suna and Val settled in the front, Suna’s car purred to life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let the day begin.” Val held her hands behind her head with a closed eyed grin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you mean bullshit.” Kenma grumbled under his breath, his mood sour because he realized before they left that he was too drunk to bring his Switch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suna scrolled through his phone before pressing a button and setting the phone down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When I’m furthest from myself</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Feeling closer to the stars</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve been invaded by the dark</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Trying to recognize myself</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto wasn’t surprised that finding the right song to experience the day to was Suna’s priority as well. This group of friends was very music driven, almost as if every single one of them had some internal monologue they were constantly trying to drown out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or maybe it wasn’t a monologue. Maybe it was every cruel voice they had ever encountered playing on a loop that they were running from. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sorry, I can’t be friends with someone like you.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shut his eyes, willing the voice to, at least, be lower in sheer, unbearable volume. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He snapped out of his trance when he felt Akaashi’s knee gently tap his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes looked over to see Akaashi, whose eyes were closed, head completely still against the headrest. Actually, his entire body was still, meaning the tap wasn’t an accident. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was observing Bokuto and made a move to snap him out of his head before he got too deep in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tried not to think anything of it, tried to convince himself that the only overly observant one in this pairing was himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He still had barely met Akaashi, they barely knew each other. So why did his knee tingle where Akaashi had touched him? Why did it feel like they had met before? Maybe in another life? Maybe in </span>
  <em>
    <span>every</span>
  </em>
  <span> life? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What are you a homo?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto let his head fall back. Akaashi was simply his roommate, his roommate with a friend who was far too social and invited Bokuto out with them on a whim. Akaashi didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>want him here, it was clear when he offered Bokuto an out from joining them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No one </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>liked Bokuto, no one except Kuroo. Everyone else just tolerated him. Akaashi was no exception, he was simply nicer than the rest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Bokuto felt stupid. Idiotic, for admitting to Akaashi that he felt welcomed by him, because he wasn’t. He knew he wasn’t. He was loud, and clumsy, and so damn hard to be around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every part of Bokuto wanted to curl in on himself. To become as small as he felt, to find the perfect moment to open the door and run as far away as possible. Instead, he was brought back to reality by a —</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have arriiiived.” A voice sang out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto peered out the window to the house that Suna had parked in front of. It didn’t look like a party was happening inside. Truthfully, it didn’t look like there was a single soul inhabiting the building. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They exited the car, making way to the front door. Bokuto followed close behind the lot, extremely uncomfortable with his own presence and still unable to shake off the dull feeling from the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Little to Bokuto’s surprise, Val was the first to the door but instead of knocking she simply swung the door open, announcing their arrival. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The music that was inaudible when the door was closed hit Bokuto full force as soon as it was opened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There weren’t many people there, though the ones who were, all adorned jewels and glitters on every visible part of their skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, lovely people.” A voice rang out over the music. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oikawa-san.” Val raised her arms, throwing them over the boy's shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto tried his hardest not to stare, to pay attention to the interactions happening instead, but he couldn’t pull his eyes away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa wore a flowy, white button up with large white angel wings that seamlessly transitioned into an equally flowy pair of white pants, but that’s not what Bokuto couldn’t tear his eyes away from. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gleaming brown eyes surrounded by red eyeshadow and gold specs stared deep into Bokuto’s own golden eyes. A sharp smile greeted him and he could do nothing other than return it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was beautiful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every uncomfortable feeling that plagued him on the short walk to the front door melted away. Nothing existed except for those beautiful chocolate eyes staring deep into his soul, spreading warmth through his being and making him feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>alive. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re new.” Oikawa’s voice was smooth as glass as he glided towards Bokuto, never breaking eye contact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” Bokuto was calmer than he expected to be. “I’m Bokuto. Bokuto Koutaro.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take a shot with me.” Oikawa grabbed Bokuto by the hand and the electricity of the contact went straight to his chest, making his breath catch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto turned his head to the group he had arrived with as Oikawa whisked him away. His eyes vaguely scanned over the laughing faces until they landed on Akaashi’s, who had a less than humorous scowl on his face. The expression quickly turned to apathy then to a smirk when Bokuto made eye contact with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto turned his attention back to Oikawa as they entered the kitchen, settling by the counter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope you’re a tequila man.” Oikawa smirked at him as he grabbed a Patron bottle from the cabinet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto felt the familiar fear of the unknown wash over him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Today is actually my first time drinking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa raised his eyebrows at that statement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well Bo-chan, I hope you’re ready for a wild night.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa turned his back to pour two shots and Bokuto was grateful he didn’t see the blush that spread on his face from the impromptu nickname. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s cheers.” Oikawa handed him a shot. “I feel like this is the start of something… </span>
  <em>
    <span>magical.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He grinned at Bokuto, clinking their shot glasses together and throwing it back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto inhaled a steadying breath and threw the shot back. Instantly, a pain he had never experienced spread down his throat to the back of his skull. It was different from the rum in the way that it didn’t make its way down his throat but instead washed through all his five senses. Bokuto coughed and gagged and yet, nothing relieved the pain. That was, until Oikawa’s laugh flowed through the air and surrounded him, clearing every part of him of the tequila pain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You weren’t lying, were you?” His hand came down on Bokuto’s bicep, giving a light squeeze. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto's mouth twitched with a smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what brings you here, Bo-chan?” Oikawa stared up through his eyelashes at Bokuto.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sadness Bokuto had forgotten dared to come back up to the surface, daring to smother him again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, well I live with Kaashi and Val invited me here with them.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmmm, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> the new roommate. Well, anyways, I am certainly glad Val invited you. I’m glad you were so willing to be whisked away by me.” Oikawa poured himself another shot. “Tell me something about yourself.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto faltered. He usually would have had a plethora of fun facts and experiences to spew to someone that asked but the way Oikawa supported his weight on the kitchen counter causing his biceps to flex and dip under the weight made Bokuto’s mouth dry up. The way Oikawa’s face lost all expression as he waited for Bokuto to speak, not in apathy but in pure, undivided focus, made Bokuto’s hands shake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before he could think, Bokuto was stepping forward, closing the gap between them to half the size it was before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um..” Bokuto finally had a moment of mental clarity to think about what </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was even planning on doing. “Actually, can I have another shot before I spill my whole life story to ya.” He smiled awkwardly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa stared at him, a teethy grin on his face before he quickly reached back and grabbed another shot glass. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was hoping you would ask that question.” He placed the shot against Bokuto’s chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here’s a little technique us tequila drinkers like to use so it’s not as shitty going down.” Oikawa pressed the shot deeper into his chest and Bokuto realized he had been staring at his slender fingers wrapped around the shot glass as they rested on his shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.” Bokuto quickly grabbed the shot, trying to ignore the intense static that sparked in his fingertips as they grazed over Oikawa’s hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t figure out exactly what he was doing. He didn’t even know Oikawa’s first name and yet, the feeling this man was giving him was making him feel light headed. He knew there was a word for what he was feeling, it was on the tip of his tongue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He searched every single one of his taste buds for a descriptor of what it was, but all he found was wandering thoughts of what Oikawa’s skin would taste like if those same taste buds roamed his body. What those chocolate eyes would look like staring down at him instead of up, what emotion he could illicit if Bokuto decided to --</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here, take this.” Oikawa held out a lime. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Bokuto became hyper aware of where exactly his brain had been drifting off to and hoped Oikawa couldn’t see the red tinge of his cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oikawa, what is your name?” Bokuto asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa breathed a laugh but didn’t say a word, instead he grabbed something off of the counter and took Bokuto's hand in his own. Looking up at Bokuto with the same gaze he was growing used to, Oikawa brought Bokuto’s hand up to his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My name is Oikawa Toru, but honestly, you may call me whatever you’d like.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa looked Bokuto directly in the eyes, spread his lips and let his tongue slowly graze over Bokuto’s hand, trailing down to the tip of his thumb. Bokuto shuddered at the warmth. He knew he should be disgusted that a man he had just met was licking him, but there was something so alluring, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>erotic</span>
  </em>
  <span>, about what Oikawa had done that Bokuto couldn’t take his eyes away. He felt his breathing hitch, his vision was blurring and he knew it was the alcohol but maybe it was also the fact that Oikawa was so breathtakingly </span>
  <em>
    <span>attractive</span>
  </em>
  <span> and giving sole attention to Bokuto.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa poured salt over the wet trail he paved on Bokuto's hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So the order goes: salt, shot, lime.” Bokuto heard somewhere in the distance of his haze. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All he could do was stare at the salt, feel the warmth that lingered on his skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bo-chaaan.” Oikawa placed his head in Bokuto’s line of sight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“S-Sorry. Salt, shot, lime you said?” Bokuto was whispering now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa’s chuckle rang through the air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes! Cheers!” Oikawa clinked their glasses together again and licked the path of salt that was on the back of his own hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto followed suit, licking over the warm, wet trail that Oikawa left on his hand. Bokuto threw the shot back, letting the salt mix with the shock of the tequila. He was growing familiar with the pain, though he still scrambled to reach for the lime that Oikawa held hostage in his grip. Placing it between his lips he sucked as if his life depended on it, and maybe his </span>
  <em>
    <span>sanity</span>
  </em>
  <span> did because he was quickly losing himself to his drunkenness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now, Bo-chan. Tell me something about yourself.” Oikawa pressed again.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s head was spinning. He was quickly losing touch with himself and the environment around him and yet, he welcomed the feeling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I play volleyball too.” He spoke. “For our National team. I’m the Ace.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa hummed in acknowledgement, expecting more from Bokuto. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My favorite color is blue, I think about yakiniku every second that I’m not think about volleyball, owl’s are my favorite animal and —“ Bokuto cut himself off. “Tell me about yourself Oikawa-san.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa’s eyes squinted slightly, seeming to have caught the way Bokuto cut himself short. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m the setter for my volleyball team,” Oikawa took a step closer. “my favorite food is milk bread, I hate coffee, and I prefer plants to animals.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time Oikawa finished his sentence, he had effectively pushed Bokuto so his back was pressed against the counter, Oikawa a centimeter away from pressing their chests together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto could feel every artery in his heart push blood through his body. He knew Oikawa could see his chest heaving with every strained breath he took. Having him this close was almost too much for his foggy brain to take.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bo-chan,” Oikawa placed a hand on Bokuto’s chest, clearly the same level of drunk as he was, “dance with m—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oikawa.” Bokuto saw the hand come down hard on Oikawa’s shoulder before he saw the owner. “Where is my dumbass brother.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa was whirled around to face the person summoning him, giving Bokuto the time, and much needed </span>
  <em>
    <span>space</span>
  </em>
  <span>, to clear his head and realize what exactly he was doing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto peered around Oikawa at the stranger who was asking the question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instantly, Bokuto felt his limbs go numb. The man had bleached hair toned to a gray color just a few levels darker than Bokuto’s. He was tall, not taller than Bokuto, but tall nonetheless. The smile on his face caused a cold dread to arise and Bokuto couldn’t pinpoint the source. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Osamu</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Oikawa smacked the hand away from his shoulder. “I didn’t know you were going to be here, let alone, your </span>
  <em>
    <span>dumbass brother.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Oikawa almost spat the words at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Osamu. Osamu.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto swirled the name around in his tequila filled head, willing his brain to pull up any memory that could hint as to why this was a name that may matter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oikawa-san, don’t tell me you’re still upset with me.” Osamu took a step towards him, wrapped an arm around his waist and gently pulled him so their chests were touching. Bokuto did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>miss the intimidating glare Osama threw at him over Oikawa’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Osamu, I will be </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> be upset with you so if you could get your filthy hands </span>
  <em>
    <span>off</span>
  </em>
  <span> of me,” Oikawa shoved Osamu away from him, “and kindly fuck off. I’d appreciate it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Osamu’s lips twitched with irritation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, where is Atsumu.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Atsumu… Tsumu</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Bokuto finally found the source. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Twins. He had a twin and Bokuto was staring into the identical face of the person who he assumed made Akaashi cry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Last Oikawa told me, he won’t be there.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Bokuto replayed Val’s words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi didn’t want to see him. Atsumu’s absence was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>only </span>
  </em>
  <span>reason Akaashi had agreed to come in the first place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto had to find Akaashi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hesitated, part of himself didn’t want to leave Oikawa’s side, but every cell of his being was aflame with the need to make sure Akaashi was nothing but okay, even if the care wasn’t reciprocated, even if Akaashi didn’t want him around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without a word, Bokuto turned on his heel and headed deeper into the house. Hallways mixed with rooms mixed with faces and Bokuto wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to stay on his feet, the only thing he was sure of was that he had to make sure his friend was okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Friend.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even in his drunken haze, the word didn’t sound true but for once, he had no time to linger on that thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It felt like hours had passed as Bokuto searched the labyrinth of a house, vision blurred and mind absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>gone</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had almost given into the feeling of dread when he spotted him, his sight the clearest it had been since they departed from their house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was walking towards a back door, head down and accompanied by no other than the man he wanted to avoid. Atsumu had his hand on the back of Akaashi’s neck and seemed to be subtly guiding him out the back door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto was frozen in place. He wanted to follow, to make sure Akaashi wasn’t in trouble but again, it was simply none of his business. If Akaashi didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to go with Atsumu, he would have been as resistant as Oikawa was to Osamu in the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s when it became abundantly clear to Bokuto, Akaashi wasn’t done with Atsumu. Whatever their relationship was, Akaashi was in it and that’s why he wasn’t putting up a fight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto felt sick, he felt stupid, and truthfully, he felt a little lost. In his worried stupor, he had traveled deeper into the house and didn’t know his way back to the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto turned and was face to face with Osamu. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His demeanor wasn’t welcoming and Bokuto felt his defenses rising. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto.” He said simply. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, hey </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bokuto</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I’m not sure what you think you’re doing with Oikawa but just know, you won’t last long with him. No one does. Not as long as I’m here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was venom lining Osamu’s words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fire began growing in Bokuto, every meniscal moment of the day that plagued him coming together to fuel an anger that he didn’t know he was capable of. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look here, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Osamu, </span>
  </em>
  <span>jealousy is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> ugly emotion and denial is even worse. It doesn't matter what Oikawa and I are doing because at the end of the day he’s doing it with me and </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> you. Last I checked, he told you to kindly fuck off. Personally, I don’t care if it’s kind or full of hatred, but leave me the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> alone.” Bokuto took a step towards Osamu. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was aware of the threatening aura he was giving off and apparently Osamu was too because without a single word he turned and stomped away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bo-chan.” Bokuto heard from behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s breathing stuttered as he turned to meet Oikawa’s shocked brown eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you.. hear all of that..?” Bokuto pressed his lips together in a hard line.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa simply nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.” Bokuto began picking at his fingers. He wasn’t one to be mean, he genuinely </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated</span>
  </em>
  <span> being mean. The words had simply left his mouth before he could keep them back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa said nothing, instead he reached for Bokuto’s hand and began dragging him through the house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They ended up in a large room occupied by a few other bodies paying no attention to the two. The music was the loudest in this room, bass reverberated off of the walls and echoed in their ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How could you know, how could you know?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That those were my eyes</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Peepin' through the floor, it's like they know</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's like they know I'm looking from the outside</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And creeping to the door, it's like they know</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa pulled Bokuto so his chest was pressed flush against his back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto had no time to get nervous, he and Oikawa instantly became a drunken mess of swaying hips. Oikawa threw his head back, leaning it on Bokuto’s shoulder, and let a hand come up and around to weave his fingers gently into Bokuto’s hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the first time Bokuto had ever been close to another man, and the electricity flowing through his body was making him feel weightless, like the only thing keeping his feet on the ground was Oikawa’s hand in his hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You understand, they got a plan for us</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It must be fate, I found a place for us</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa turned to face Bokuto, pulling their chests together and wrapping his arms around Bokuto’s neck. His knee came to rest between Bokuto’s thighs as they moved together and for the first time that night, Bokuto became overwhelmingly aware of the tension pulling at this pit of his stomach. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa was beautiful, he was fun and he was undeniably turning Bokuto on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lust. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The word slapped Bokuto in the face; that’s what he was feeling — pure, unadulterated </span>
  <em>
    <span>lust. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The song came to an end and Oikawa pulled away from Bokuto, letting his elated laugh ring through the air and straight to Bokuto’s ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re so much fun Bo-chan!” Oikawa smiled at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto could feel the nerves, from someone so ethereal looking at him like he was the greatest thing on the planet, from the lust that was now pooling in his groin and making him uncomfortable, from </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything </span>
  </em>
  <span>that was Oikawa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, hey, I’ll be right back… I just um.. really have to use the bathroom.” Bokuto tried, and failed, to sound casual. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa cocked an eyebrow at him. “I’ll take you, so you don’t get lost again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that, Bokuto was being dragged through the house by Oikawa again. This time heading towards a hallway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They came to a halt in front of one of the last doors in the hallway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bathroom.” Oikawa nodded his head towards the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto just nodded his thanks, moreso needing the bathroom so he can calm his overly reactive body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He swung the bathroom door open only to be greeted with a sight he never thought he would see. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi..?” His voice was a whisper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi finished inhaling the line of white powder on the counter before lifting his head to look at Bokuto with pupils so dilated they were completely black. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san.” Akaashi’s voice was far away as he wiped the remaining white powder from his nose, the smile on his face didn’t fit the look in his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked past Akaashi to see Atsumu sitting on the toilet next to the sink, inhaling the same white powder off the back of his hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Either you want a line, or you close the door my friend.” Atsumu purred at Bokuto, eyes hooded and a weasel of a smile on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You really should learn to lock the damn door.” Oikawa rolled his eyes before reaching past Bokuto and closing the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi.” Bokuto all but whimpered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>He didn’t</span> <span>look right. Nevermind the fact that he was doing a drug far harder than simply marijuana, he looked… </span><em><span>gone. </span></em><span>In the worst possible way. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s hand instinctively found its way back to the doorknob of the bathroom, ready to throw the door open but far from ready to confront whatever it was he saw in Akaashi’s eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto.” Oikawa placed his hand over Bokuto’s on the handle, the sternness in his voice bringing Bokuto back from whatever he was planning to do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oikawa.. That’s not.. That wasn’t—” Bokuto couldn’t finish a thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come with me, I’ll fill in some pieces.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, how do we feel about Bokuto/Oikawa? It wasn't my cup of tea until I started writing this chapter, now I may just like it..<br/>I tried so hard to keep this fic pg-13 but... that probably won't happen in the next coming chapters. </p><p>I am always so grateful for the ones who take the time to read my fic and stay patient with me while I try to update through my busy BUSY life. </p><p>I was considering making a twitter for my ao3 account so I can update the fic a bit more regularly, or start new fics that are living in my brain through a twitter thread. I'll update on that decision next chapter!</p><p>Kudos, bookmarks and comments are always so so appreciated and make my days more than you know.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And there it is, roommates. </p><p>This is just the beginning and I'm so excited for how this story will progress! See you next Sunday, or sooner (;</p></blockquote></div></div>
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